Edge, Tuesday Afternoon

[raspberryturk]

"Back to work, back to work."

Work for Reno, it should be noted, mostly consisted of him putting his feet on his desk and pretending to be busy. There were reports to be filed. He didn't wanna. That required effort.

Taking jobs that involved him chasing down monsters or beating terrorists to a messy pulp or, dare he say it, the jobs that required making hits? That wasn't work. That was play.

Reno? Reno was working. So hard at work. Staring at paper. Paperwork would be less boring if maybe it came in crossword format. Or word search. Or if it was written out in code that replaced each letter of the alphabet with a different picture of a naked chick. If it did that, maybe it wouldn't be so much work!

Yes, he was totally spending his time hard at work trying to will the phone to ring with his brain. Ugh, work.

[For phonecalls, of course. Reno is, as usual, boooored.]

Comments

[raspberryturk]

"Aw, guys who can break chairs are a dime a dozen on that island, Elena. What you need is a guy who can break chairs while killin' shit. That takes finesse."

It was kind of remarkable that Reno knew what that word meant, wasn't it?

[findingelena.livejournal.com]

"I meant during sex," Elena said blithely. "I've smashed a few bedframes in my time, but no chairs. And couldn't you just break a chair over someone's head, at a hard enough angle that you snap the neck?"

... she'd never actually tried that. It sounded like a fun game for a hit, though, didn't it?

[raspberryturk]

... Actually, it did. Reno was going to have to play that one sometime!

"You know, I think Rude's done that at least once?"

Just sayin'. Go Rude!

[findingelena.livejournal.com]

"I wouldn't be surprised," she laughed. "Maybe I should save up my gil for him instead."

Aaaaaaaaaand then the sound of Elena worrying her lip between her teeth.

"Reno?" she said, hesitant and -- beneath that? A touch giddy. "I did something really, really stupid."

[raspberryturk]

"You ain't been teasin' Tonberries or somethin', have you? How many times I gotta tell you, don't poke the Tonberry?"

Yes, Reno was that bored. Why?

[findingelena.livejournal.com]

"I had to check how high my Grudge was," she grinned. "No, not that. And not anything like mailing something to Tseng that he's gonna fire me over. That reminds me, I have a report to write and I'm stalling. I don't think he's gonna be pissed, but he might be."

Sure, Reno had a pet. He also might have gotten into deep shit about the pet. It was just that Reno no longer gave a damn, on that front.

[raspberryturk]

Here was where Reno had to ask the million-Gil question, yes.

"When ain't Tseng pissed?"

[findingelena.livejournal.com]

"Point," Elena said. "And it's not entirely my fault. I will refuse to say I'm sorry because I'm not, and it's not like he can bitch me out too much because I'm here. Anyway, you did it already, so I'll just say you're a bad influence."

Thee was a very, very, happy sort of sigh. "I'm sending you a picture (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v328/Rellyjean/elena/rookie2.jpg). Prepare to die of cute."

Okay, so she sent two (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v328/Rellyjean/elena/mmps295073.jpg).

[raspberryturk]

"I am such a bad influence," Reno agreed, loading up those pictures. And then, yes, dying of cute.

When he finally found words again, he was going to just have to spit out the phrase that he figured was going to least incriminate him as victim to adorable things.

"Is that cat pickin' its own nose with its tongue?"

... This was Reno. You were expecting maybe an "awwwww?"

[findingelena.livejournal.com]

"That cat is viciously attacking her own nose, with her tongue," she corrected. "She is a dangerous predator who stalks and hunts bits of string and her own face."

Had totally been picking her nose, yes.

"She sleeps curled up with me. I bought her a bed but she climbs out of it and mews until I scoop her up and let her snuggle."

Still too tiny to make the jump onto the bed. Still no awwwwwww? Even a teeny one?

[raspberryturk]

Very teeny. Inaudible, but totally there.

"So that's your cat, huh?" A beat. "You got a cat?"

[findingelena.livejournal.com]

"I did," Elena said. "She was sort of ... dumped on me. That makes it sound like I don't want her, though, and I do. Long story."

She was now going to lean over and nuzzle her cat. Because she could. OOooh, tiny little pinpricks of pain! Kitten: still not good at retracting her claws.

Which reminded her.

"What are you supposed to name pets?"

She was new to this, okay?

[raspberryturk]

"Aw, man. I so ain't the guy to ask this shit. It took me a week to name Mako. It would'a been easier, but Rikku wasn't gonna let me name him Numbnuts or Dumbass Rat."

It would have been soooo much easier, damn it!

[findingelena.livejournal.com]

"That would've been cute," Elena said. "Numbnuts. Kinda mean, but still cute."

Elena: not so great with naming things.

"I don't want to name her anything stupid," she insisted. "She's adorable. And she wobbles. Wobble-wobble-wobble and then she falls over, so she mews desperately until I get her. But she's not dumb or anything, I don't think. It's too early to tell. Just all tiny and new, still figuring out which end is up."

[raspberryturk]

Snerk. Yes, that was totally a 'snerk' sound that Reno made into the phone.

"Sounds to me like you picked up your first rookie, Rookie."

[findingelena.livejournal.com]

Elena started giggling. "You think I should call her Rookie?" she asked. "What happens when she grows up a little and can find her way around, do I change her name to Turk?"

[raspberryturk]

"Well, I ain't changed your name to Turk yet, have I?" Reno laughed, shaking his head. "Rookie's your rookie, yo. An' she'll stay that way unless you go an' hire a new cat."

... Wait. That wasn't quite right.

[findingelena.livejournal.com]

"I think she's one of a kind," Elena laughed. "Do you wanna be my rookie, Rookie? Who's such a good rookie? Who's gonna learn it allllllll tomorrow if she doesn't take a nap first?"

Shut up, she was allowed to coo. Rookie was cute.

[raspberryturk]

"You can divide her litterbox into nine sectors an' see how long it takes before she secures the eighth one, yo!"

It sounded like a brilliant idea to Reno. At least, so long as he didn't stop to think over the fact that this involved peeing all over Sector Eight and then burying it in a bit of everything from Sectors Three through Seven.

[findingelena.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, I think I'm skipping that one," she laughed. "That goes in the 'No' pile with black suits."

[raspberryturk]

"No black suits? What do you think about blue ones?"

They were totally Turk issue, too!

[findingelena.livejournal.com]

"Pass," she laughed. "Wouldn't turn down a Ribbon, though."

They were useful, dammit.

"... Reno? Did you know that -- this weekend -- you know what this weekend is, right?"

[raspberryturk]

"What? Parent's Weekend? Yeah, Rookie. Don't think I'll be able to get the time off, though. Just spent time off hangin' around in Spira, and gonna have to book off Homecoming as it stands..."

It was possible there was a point he was not exactly grasping, here. Or else he was sidestepping it because it was fun making the rookie sweat. Care to guess?

[findingelena.livejournal.com]

"You aren't funny," Elena said, darkly. "This is serious. I can't just call him up and say, 'Don't come, and I can't tell you why.'"

[raspberryturk]

"Rookie, Rookie, Rookie," Reno said, shaking his head slowly and clicking his tongue. "I got it. You honestly think I ain't been keepin' an eye on his incoming mail, here? Invites were sent, sure, but I got 'em. He ain't got a clue."

Saying that Tseng didn't have a clue was something like trying to say that chocobos did not have feathers. And yet, Reno was pretty damn confident, thank you very much.

It was a Turk thing.