raspberryturk | Room 308, Monday Afternoon

Rikku opened her
Door, not expecting to see
Him standing right there.

"Hi," she said weakly
With an awkward shrug. "How have
You been?" she then asked.

Okay, that haiku bit was pretty weird.

"Been better, been worse."
Reno stayed in the doorway.
"I think we should... talk?"

He took a deep breath.
Shrugged his shoulders, shook his head.
"Is this a bad time?"

Rikku shrugged and did
Not meet his eyes. "There's nothing
To talk about, is

There?" she asked. "You made
That clear at the club last night."
Nothing else to say.

Reno heaved a sigh.
Nodded and then chewed his lip.
Fidgeted a bit.

"I was drunk," he said,
"Didn't wanna cheapen it.
That ain't no excuse."

He shrugged his shoulders.
Took a breath and then looked up.
"I'm sorry, zoto."

Edited 2008-10-20 21:06 (UTC)

Rikku sighed at the
Door. "You said --"

Her words didn't want to fit a pattern any more.

"I kiss you, you push me away. Over and over again. You said it was all a joke, and you'd rather go see Tokyo. So we did. I get it. I'm not gonna ... bother you about that again. Okay?"

"Wasn't a joke. It ain't a joke. None of this has ever been a joke." Reno buried his hands in his pockets and grit his teeth, swallowing a lump in his throat, which promptly fell somewhere into his chest. "I keep wantin' to talk, and you say that... there's nothin' to talk about. And there is. There's issues that got issues, here. And I wanna take care of 'em, is all."

"There isn't," she said. "You have your job. You're gonna get killed for it. I hate your job. It's still what matters to you, more than anything. I don't want to watch you die again. You'd rather die than quit your job. It's not like there are magic words that'll make that better. There aren't any. There's not something you can say or I can say that's gonna make all those pieces fit together. They don't."

"I quit," he said with a frown. "I called up Tseng last Thursday and quit ShinRa, 'cause I can't work for Rufus no more, and my job isn't what means more'n anything to me. What I did in Gaia when you were watchin' wasn't even about my job. So hate it, go right ahead. It ain't even the problem anymore."

There was a long silence on her end as she leaned against her door and processed all of that.

"... You quit?" she said finally.

Edited 2008-10-20 21:29 (UTC)

"I quit," Reno agreed. And then shrugged. "Tseng might get jobs now and then, freelance stuff, zoto. Might let me take a look at 'em, might let me get out on the field and do stuff. But I'm not ShinRa's pet. I don't wanna help Rufus rule the world all over."

"Then why ..." She bit her lip, glancing into her room and out into the hallway again.

A second later, she was shutting the door behind her. "Can we talk?" she asked. "In your room, I mean? It's ... more private, and all."

This wasn't a conversation she wanted to have in a doorway, really. And she had a roommate, so ... could they?

Reno shrugged and turned to head down the hallway.

"Don't see why not. Kinda don't want the whole dorms eavesdroppin' in on this anyhow, yeah?"

Nice, private room. Closed doors. Reno could go for that.

He held onto that 'why,' as they headed to 429. Worked through the four million reasons in his head. They were all gone by the time they reached his door.

She fidgeted in the hallway while he dug his key out. "Why?" she asked. "I mean. If you quit your job ... wait, why did you quit your job? You said ... you can't keep doing stuff for the President, yeah, but also that ... you kinda have to be a Turk or you're not you. That's all you've been saying for months."

"Still me," Reno noted, unlocking his door and holding it open for Rikku. There was a small, tentative sort of smile attempting to toy at his lips. "How 'bout that, huh?"

He waited until they were both in his room, and he shut the door behind them.

"Turk's more a mindset, anyhow. Put it in my head when I gotta, and I'm a Turk right then. Wasn't even really about the job. And Rufus was killin' us. Tryin' to literally, sometimes, too. Had enough. There're more important things, yeah?"

"There weren't last night," she said pointedly. "Or last week or any of the other times I went, hey, your job sucks, you should quit. Are you just ... ignoring that? 'Cause that's gonna crash and burn pretty fast."

She folded her arms and leaned back against his door. "Besides, you knew all of this last night. Didn't you?"

"I knew it last night. Wasn't like I was sober enough to tell you. And didn't wanna just... fall into bed with you if you didn't know. I mean. Wanted to. But didn't want it to be somethin' you'd regret in the morning, either."

He was chewing at the inside of his cheek, now. A far less obvious fidget than toying with the bottom of his jacket might have been.

Though he was doing that, too.

"So I said somethin' stupid. 'Cause... I dunno. 'Cause I'm stupid, I guess."

"That's no excuse," she said. She wasn't fidgeting; she was standing stock-still, trying to stare him down. "You could have said any of this last night. You didn't. You said the Al Bhed stuff was a joke and blew me off to go sightseeing. I said I wanted you back, and you laughed at me. You know, I don't find it all that funny."

Cool head. Turk was a mindset. The mindset was cool head. Reno was making a point to stay in that mindset now, because if he didn't, he was going to just... fail.

"No. It's no excuse." Cool head. "Didn't mean it to come off like it did. Wanted to see Tokyo. Wanted to show you somethin' that was as close to Midgar as we were ever gonna get. And I sucked at it, and I flew off at the mouth wrong. And there's no freakin' excuse. I'm sorry, zoto."

She waved it off. "Doesn't matter," she said. "We saw Tokyo. It was good. You quit your job. 'Sgood. You'll be miserable in three weeks and go back to it. That's good, too. Dunno why I had to come here to talk about it. Stupid."

"I don't even expect you to give me that much credit," Reno muttered, directing a scowl toward the floor. "Ain't like I earned it, here. Just figured I would tell you that I wanted to sort things out before lettin' the rest of it come back. 'Cause... I don't usually sort. I run. And this time I tried it, and now I know why I don't try to fix things. Seems like I suck at it."

"What's there to sort?" she asked. "You quit your job. Just so I'd go, 'hey, he quit his job, everything's great now'? You know it's not gonna be that easy. You know it's not gonna work like that. And --"

She rolled her eyes. "And I don't believe you're going to stay away. I tried to stop being who I was, for someone. It doesn't work. You'll just resent me and go back to it sooner or later."

"Didn't quit for you. Quit for me. Quit for ... Gaia and ... justice. I don't fucking know. I quit 'cause I just can't do his dirty work no more, and I went to tell you 'cause it was a problem anyhow and you deserve to know. And now you know. I quit." He pursed his lips and chewed on his cheek for another moment before speaking again. "Wasn't Rufus who made me what I am, anyhow."

"But you're still doing work for them."

She was still leaning back against his door, arms folded, watching him like this was an interrogation. Maybe it was.

"You said that. Tseng's gonna hand you some stuff, to do. So you'll be doing the same damn thing, under the table, and you'll pretend it's different. It's not."

Reno certainly felt like it was an interrogation.

"Tseng isn't Rufus. I trust Tseng. And I can say no to the work." He almost smiled, then. Almost. It wouldn't have been an entirely sane smile, if he had. "Figure that out, huh? Me, sayin' no? Like maybe I should be used to gettin' the option? Like, yo, Reno, you wanna go blow up some ... I dunno. Some orphanage or some baby ducks or a bubblegum factory? And I can just go, gee, I'd love to, but I got this personal rule against blowin' up bubblegum factories. Maybe next time, zoto."

"And then Tseng says, do it or I shoot your girlfriend," Rikku said coldly. "And you say, yes sir, you bet, sir, and he says, by the way, the President says hi."

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