Room 308, Monday Afternoon

[raspberryturk]

Reno had to talk.
Headed down to Rikku's room.
Knocking on the door.

[For the laaaady.]

Comments

[raspberryturk]

"Yeah, I'm me." He took another breath, and reached for her hand again. Carefully. Just to touch her fingers. To something. "So you can't change me. But..."

He shrugged.

"Would you? Hypothetically?"

Purely hypothetically. He had to know.

[the_merriest]

She shook her head, this time twining her fingers around his. "You don't get it," she said carefully. "If I started changing things ... you'd lose bits of you. If I said, okay, take out those bits, then I'd lose all the ways those bits have made you into who you are. You wouldn't be you if you weren't a Turk. Okay, I don't like the Turks, and I'm really not okay with ... a lot of the things you've done, for them. But ... without them, you'd be someone else entirely. I don't want someone else entirely."

[raspberryturk]

"I'm suggestin' a compromise," Reno said, after a minute of chewing on what she'd said. "I mean... If I can't change, and you don't wanna change me, the least we can do is try to find some way that it works for both of us, zoto."

A pause. A frown. A little squeeze of her hand in his.

"Without just pretendin' it's all gonna go away."

[the_merriest]

Her fingers were playing with his.

"Okay?" she said. "I'm kinda lost, zoto. I don't know what we can compromise on. I mean. I'm totally ... willing to. I think. 'Cause ... it's not gonna go away, and I don't want ... y'know."

The whole apart thing kinda sucked. Didn't it?

[raspberryturk]

Yeah. The apart thing sucked.

"I mean... You don't want me dealin' with that kinda... shit back home. Right?"

He was going somewhere with this. Honest.

[the_merriest]

"The ... bad stuff?" Rikku said. "I don't like the bad stuff, no. The. Where you do really bad stuff or they come shoot you in the head. I hate that. Or ... is that what you mean?"

So lost. So very lost.

[raspberryturk]

"That stuff," Reno agreed. "So, I quit doin' that stuff. But I'm keepin' my job with Tseng, on the grounds that things change."

He looked at their hands. Pursed his lips a little.

"And my bein' all secretive about everything didn't help at all when it came out, yeah?"

[the_merriest]

"So ... what happens if Tseng starts ... acting just like the President did?" she asked, hesitantly. Still curling her fingers around his.

She considered the rest of it, still leaning back against his door. "... No. It didn't help. It ... I felt like you'd lied to me. Like ... you knew I wouldn't go out with you if I knew what you really did, so you were just gonna skip that. That ... bugged me. A lot."

[raspberryturk]

"I don't think Tseng will. Rufus wanted power. So did his old man. Tseng just wants to get through the day alive," Reno explained, then closed his other hand around the one he was holding and heaved a sigh.

"So, what if, instead of just pretendin' that this job ain't there, like I was doin' before and like I'm.... kinda scared we're gonna do now? What if instead of that, I just... tell you what's goin' on? Tseng calls with a job, and if I don't shoot it down right offa the bat, then... I talk to you? Before takin' it."

[the_merriest]

"Would ... that be weird?" Rikku asked. Hesitantly. "I mean. You don't have to ... report in, like I'm your mom, or like you're ... asking permission. I would kinda like to know ..."

She bit her lip. "Stealing from people, blowing things up, I mean, whatever, but if you're just going out and shooting people for no good reason ... that might ... upset me. You might not want to tell me stuff, zoto."

Property was fluid. Life, not so much.

[raspberryturk]

"There are probably gonna be hits," Reno said, looking down at their hands and swallowing the lump that was making its way into his throat again. "I mean, there'll be hits. It's just another thing we do and do good, you know? But I get to pick 'em. I get to say no."

He shrugged.

"Wouldn't be weird, talkin' to you about 'em first. Wanna know what's weirder?"

[the_merriest]

"But ... you might not," she said carefully. "Say no, I mean. To the hits. Are they usually people who ... I mean, are they bad people? I'm not sure I'm okay with ... you just skipping off to kill people who ... didn't do anything. That's ..."

She sighed, brushing her thumb against the back of his hand. Looking down at their hands. "What's weirder?"

[raspberryturk]

"Weirder is us bein' weird at each other," Reno answered. Because that had to come first, right then. "The way Tseng put it, it sounds like we'd be workin' for anyone. Merc work, you know? So, maybe sometimes it's people who deserve to die, and maybe sometimes it's not. And if it's not, I can say no, you know?"

[the_merriest]

"You won't know," she said. Again. "If they're a bad person or not. And ... you might not care. I would. But I'm ... different than you. You know?"

Completely different ethical centers. That kinda thing.

She stepped forward. Only a little. Only pushing off the wall.

"I hate us being weird at each other."

[raspberryturk]

"You're different than me. Which is why I talk to you first. Maybe it means I end up just doin' property damage. Maybe I don't take the hits, no more."

He kind of hated the thought of not taking the hits anymore.

"But there are still monsters out there. And there's probably mech hidin' around Gaia, too. Not like I'll be starved for excitement or anything."

He shrugged, and then tentatively moved forward to loop his arms around her waist.

[the_merriest]

Rikku sighed, pressing her face into his shirt. "Would you miss the hits?" she asked. "Ow, that's such a strange question. I hate ..."

She shuddered. "This isn't gonna be easy. Is it?"

[raspberryturk]

He shrugged and shut his eyes, shaking his head a little.

"Haven't had an actual hit in over a year, now. Not for the Turks. Ain't like I'm missin' out on anything I haven't been missin' already. This... probably won't be easy. But it's better'n what it was. I think. I hope."

Could it be? Please?

[the_merriest]

"Are you gonna have to ... leave?" she asked. "If you're doing work for them, you ... I mean. They don't need you ... here, any more. Do they?"

He couldn't leave. He wasn't allowed. She would steal his luggage.

[raspberryturk]

"I'm not goin' anywhere. Might jog off on weekends for a job now and then. Isn't like I'm gettin' paid to be here anymore, gonna have to start earnin' a wage." He sighed and leaned forward to press his face into her hair. "But I was here for ShinRa. And now I'm not anywhere for ShinRa, yo. So now I'm here for me."

For... them?

[the_merriest]

"Like, in town?" she asked. "Do you need money? I kinda figured you probably had a lot, saved up from ... y'know. Being a Turk for so long."

She settled in, wrapping her arms around his waist uncertainly. "So you're ... staying here because ... you want to be here?"

[raspberryturk]

"I spend. Stupidly. I mean, got enough to keep me goin' for a month or two, sure. If I bite down and stop bein' an idiot about it. Kick the gamblin' habit. And the smokin' habit. And... habits." Way to be stupid with your money, Reno. "But yeah, the only reason I'm here is 'cause I wanna be. I wanna maybe see this high school thing through. Get an idea what's out there. Appreciate what's here. Graduate."

Moon the crowd at graduation. That kind of thing.

[the_merriest]

"Strippers and porn?" she teased, leaning up to press a very faint kiss on his chin. "I can't believe Tseng didn't ..."

She trailed off. Right. Tseng wouldn't have convinced Reno to invest his money, because the Turks didn't exactly need cushy retirement funds.

Better topic. "At least you have the Midgar girls tape?"

[raspberryturk]

Random change in topic? That meant Reno probably didn't want to press at whatever it was she was trying to say.

Given that they were talking about his monetary situation, and then Tseng had been brought up, Reno could hazard a guess, anyhow.

"Used to have the whole series," Reno said, straightening a little to grin down at her. The change of topic was just fine. "Kinda lost most of it a couple years back. Last dorms I was livin' in kinda aren't there anymore."

[the_merriest]

"Did they do different cities?" she asked. "World Tour of girls just ... doing things to each other? You're not allowed to release the ... uh. Fandom version."

Okay, she was blushing.

... okay, she was blushing a lot.

[raspberryturk]

She was blushing, and he was sticking out his tongue.

"The hottest lesbian porn that Fandom has ever seen is sittin' in a place of prestige where there ain't nobody but me and you who are gonna get to see it," he promised. "Slum Girl Sluts was a totally local company, though. Rovin' about from sector to sector, but it ain't like people from under the plates had loads of money to travel on. Not even the kickass makers of fine local porno, yoto."