raspberryturk | Room 429, Saturday Evening

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Room 429, Saturday Evening

So, today had been a long day. Between his best buddy getting shot by some fancy-talking twit on the beach, and the annoying hex that had been placed on him by that nasty, nasty old chick during his and Doji's Sex Ed presentation, Reno was more than just a little ready to curl up on a chair by the window, staring out over the island.

Quietly. Very quietly. The laughing fits had subsided, fortunately, but he was still annoyingly mute.

At least the chittering of the ferret involved sound. When Reno wasn't in A Mood, he'd have to give Mako extra treats or something for helping him preserve his sanity.

[For one person in particular, but open for interaction before she shows up if you don't mind a somewhat one-sided conversation.]

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He might be a dumbass, but he was her dumbass, and that meant she had to check on him.

No, she wasn't talking about Mako.

Rikku rapped on the door a few times, worrying a little.

Reno opened his mouth out of habit, to tell whoever was at the door that it wasn't locked.

No dice.

With something of an exasperated sigh, he picked himself from the ball he was in on the chair, and he made his way to the door to actually open it himself.

Oh, hey. Rikku.

He'd have offered her something of a tired smile at that point, but his face hurt. So he just kind of lurched forward and pulled her into a squeezy sort of hug, instead.

Rikku squeezed back. "You stopped giggling," she said, settling in. "You still can't talk, huh?"

Deep sigh. "I told you not to set her off."

Reno's response to that was a bit of a shrug of his shoulders as he loosened his grip on her, his gaze falling to the floor.

He'd had a mind to go out and hunt that Tybalt guy down, as soon as he was sure Doji had been distracted and nobody else was gonna get hurt. He would have grabbed his EMR and packed some spare potions, and then he would have enjoyed listening to that freak howl in pain as he buried the end of his stun baton deep into the guy's guts...

Kinda hard to do while cackling like a hyena on nitrous oxide on a television documentary set on mute.

He shrugged again, a somewhat more frustrated, angry kind of shrug, and then gestured into his room. He wanted to sit down again, dammit. His sides were still sore, too.

"Yeah, okay, c'mon," she said, guiding him in and reaching to help hold him up. Door: shut. Destination: bed. "I'm sorry Hermione's not here she could have undone whatever-it-was. They have the same kinda magic. She's the one who fixed my knees."

Hey. Knee-fixing. Sounded handy. Stupid how people had to do stupid things like grow up and graduate or whatever it was that she had left for.

Reno nodded and gave another sigh, making his way with her to the bed, stopping only to grab the extra pillows and cushions from the spare. Today was a very cuddle-configuration sort of day, didn't she agree? Really, he could be wrong.

He just really, really doubted it.

"Good call," she nodded, fluffing a few of the pillows into place. "Cuddling is totally required, right now. Romeo's ... he's gonna be okay, you know, but ... seeing him there like that ... that was terrifying."

Reno nodded, glancing at her sidelong before crawling up onto the bed and making a V-shape between his legs for Rikku to fit into.

He was more than just a little fidgety at the mention of Romeo. He'd missed it. And he hadn't even had the opportunity to get out and do something about it. And maybe if he cracked his knuckles soundlessly at bit a finger in thought, he'd come up with some way to get out there, find the guy, and bust in his face.

For now? He was going to have to hug Rikku. Hold his arms open nice and wide and look at her with the best puppy-dog-face he could muster. Yes, snuggles, please?

Rikku crawled into the cuddle-space happily, settling in. "I wanna go after him, too," she said darkly. She wasn't psychic, but they were all thinking it, weren't they? "But if he messed up Romeo that badly, I mean, it's his fight, not ours, and us getting hurt won't help, and maybe he wants to be the one to take care of it, you know?"

Did it sound convincing, to him? Because it wasn't doing much for her.

...

Normally, Reno's silence might have served as some sort of indication as to what exactly he thought of that idea.

But, seeing as silence seemed to be the order of the day, he had to back it up with a somewhat disdainful wrinkle of his nose while he balled his hands into fists and held them up, one on either side, like a boxer or something.

To hell with whose fight it was. That guy needed to have his insides rearranged. Reno was good with that. Could they? Please?

Rikku took one of his fists and brought it to her lips. "You wanted help to come back and sit on the bed," she reminded him. "Neither of us are in any shape to go after him right now. Later, we go find him and rip his spleen out. I bet we could find his spleen."

Reno was totally awesome at locating spleens. And removing them. In very painful ways. He had experience. Loads of it. He was a professional asshole.

It was perhaps fortunate that he had no means to actually mime that fact out.

Instead, he sighed again, nodded, and wrapped the arm that wasn't in her hands around her middle.

Bastard didn't need his freaking spleen, anyhow. Reno would remove his kidneys, too. And maybe a rib or two. Hmm. He'd mull this over while leaning forward to press a kiss against Rikku's cheek. Kisses, after all, were almost as effective as snuggles when it came to quelling large doses of cranky.

Kisses were very, very effective at helping crankiness. Which reminded her, she had more to discuss with him.

Or. Well. Tell him, and let him gesture in response to.

"So," she murmured, nibbling at his lower lip. "You're big on this whole safe sex thing now?"

Heeey. No fair. They were being all educational and crap. Their valiant efforts at educating the people could possibly save dozens of students from hordes of offspring and a life of celibacy! See how noble his cause was?

He was in for it, wasn't he?

... Best make the best of the nibbling now, then, before she got all mean and stuff. Omnom? Sheepish smile and some omnom?

Rikku giggled. "I'm juuuuuust remembering a certain guy who was so thrilled to get this girl's laces off with his teeth that that whole Safety First lecture slipped his mind entirely."

Okay, she'd been on the Pill and all, but he hadn't known that.

"I mean." She blushed, furiously. "I ... forgot, too? But ... I'm not, y'know. Don Juan over here."

Don Juan Reno.

Kinda had a nice ring to it, didn't it?

Reno continued with the sheepish sort of grinning, offering another apologetic sort of shrug, as he was fairly certain that omnom time had passed. Sad, really.

But, in his own defense, he was going to clack his teeth noiselessly and grin at her. Because... Well. It was a big deal at the time. And he'd gotten wrapped up. A lot. And his brain had stopped. And they both were totally lucky that she was on the pill and he was clean, and she could smack him now if need be. He'd even hold still.

"You're ... hopeless when you're in the mood?" she guessed, giggling. "Do as you say, not as you do? I'll remember that."

She nipped his upper lip again. "I did snag one of those goodie bags. Haven't had a chance to peek at what's inside there. Good stuff?"

... omnom time had possibly not passed them by.

Omnom time was the best. Ever. Especially tonight. And every other night there was omnom time. Totally.

In fact, Reno had to take pause from attempting to formulate a response in favor of a few moments of omnom time. Omnomnom!

Okay. He was good. She'd asked about goodie bags. Right then. Good stuff in them? He grinned a somewhat sore grin and held up a finger in that 'one moment' sort of gesture before leaning back from her a little to reach into his jacket.

He'd snagged a few for himself, naturally.

It was just easier to upend the bag over his bedspread and show her what was in there, as opposed to trying to mime out four lube samples, male and female condoms, a candle, and some kink dice.

Though he did have to admit, the possible guesses she'd have at his attempt to mime them could have been amusing. Maybe next time. Sore face and all. Stupid laughing.

Rikku picked up a few of the items, curious. "Okay, lube, that's ... uh." Blushing. Badly. "Female condoms? How does that even work? We don't .... uh. You know?"

She lifted the male condom, raising an eyebrow. "I ought to make you start wearing these, just to prove a point. Safe sex every time, don't be stupid, riiiiight?"

The look on Reno's face as he reached for the female condom was somewhat self-explanatory. In fact, he'd give her a quick, mime-style demonstration right then and there.

You see, his expression seemed to say, as he made a circle out of the index finger and the thumb of his left hand, you wear them like so.

He proceeded to stick the index finger of his right hand through the circle made with his left.

And then he smirked, as if to say, safe sex every time, yep.

"We should use both," Rikku said innocently. "Together. Lots of protection, then. From now on, we'll use two condoms. At least. Three or four, if we're feeling nervous."

Come on, he'd totally crack first. Right?

Reno wasn't going to point out that female and male condoms weren't compatible with one another at all.

He was just going to continue smirking, shake his head, and pull out the other three goodie bags he'd stashed in his coat.

What? He had to get full value for the class he'd put on. And the stupid freaking curse that was slapped on him.

He gestured to the bags, and then tallied them up on his fingers, holding up his hands with a grin-ow-grin.

Eight, at least. Seriously.

"Oh, really?" she laughed. "I would've thought after two or three you'd start cutting off circulation. Should make some interesting noises, with all that plastic rubbing around, shouldn't it?"

She was, in fact, unwrapping one of the female condoms now, just to play with it. ... What?

What Reno did just then? That would have resulted in a bit of a 'snerk' sound, were he able.

That plastic? It'd probably sound like someone rubbing two rubber bands together. Maybe like a rubber glove attack. Malibu Stacy and Malibu Ben gettin' it on.

Fortunately, Reno couldn't vocalize this notion, as it would probably lead into some terrible segue about the time that he was an action figure.

That had sucked.

He reached for one of the male condoms, since she had something to fiddle with and he didn't, and he unwrapped it. And then proceeded to idly stretch it all crazily out of proportion. Damn, were those things stretchy.

He, uh, wasn't gonna use this one, though. Clearly.

Now would be a good time for her female condom to make a dangerous attack on his male condom. It was going to DEVOUR IT WHOLE.

Vagina dentata, eat your heart out.

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