Reno of the Turks (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
raspberryturk) wrote2008-03-03 12:23 pm
raspberryturk) wrote2008-03-03 12:23 pm
Room 429, Monday Afternoon
Reno was sleeping, dammit.
He didn't have classes today, he'd spent his entire break on the road and drunk, his behind still hurt from a certain drunken tattoo fiasco, he was going to sleep in.
Except that someone in his room wouldn't stop chattering. Kind of a squeaky sort of chatter that brought his sleep-fogged mind to think of an ill-made shoe, or something of the like. Annoying as all heck, sitting there beside his bed and nattering back and forth, every now and again breaking into giggles.
"Shuh'uuup," Reno commanded, in the way only a possibly still hungover, mostly asleep Turk could command.
The squeaking stopped.
And then started again, this time most certainly directed at him.
"We know what you diiiii~iid," one chirped.
"Gotta tattoo, no big deal," Reno mumbled. "Sleeping. Shh."
"We know what you aren't tellllling her," the other added. "About what you dooooo for ShinRaaaa~."
Oh. Well, that was different. The taunt sent a bit of an electric chill down his spine, and he ignored the ache in his rear as he sat up and looked around.
"We've seen it allllll."
"And we know what you stepped in! Pollen everywhere!"
"Very bad form, zoto."
"Very bad! Bad like chasing that Ancient that kept them pretty!"
"Bad like gathering people up to be forced into SOLDIER!"
"Bad like dropping the plaa~aate!"
Reno was awake now, and his hands were in fists, and he was going to kill someone. But there was... nobody there? Nono, there had to be. Mezcal worms weren't really hallucinogenic, and he had heard voices, and someone had to die right now. He stepped off his bed, and the squeaky things squeaked again in that distinctly shoe-like way, and skittered out of the way.
His shoes. His shoes were talking and moving and squeaking at him and taunting him.
"Watch where you put that foot," the slightly-more-squeaky left shoe commanded.
"Yeah," the other agreed, "we're sick of you walking all over us!"
"This some kinda messed up Fandom thing?" Reno's eyelid was developing a bit of a twitch, here.
"Give the guy with the badly-groomed toenails a cookie," the shoes singsonged in unison. Which prompted Reno to snarl and make a dive for them, ShinRa issue fine Wutai black chocobo leather be damned. They were going to be in a world of pain. "We're gonna telll her! Tellll her about the stuff you doooo!"
"I'm gonna rip your freakin' tongues out!!!"
A high-speed chase of comedic proportions, one toppled lamp and a bruised knee later, and Reno was triumphantly shoving the pair of shoes into separate drawers in his dresser, a wadded-up pair of dirty socks stuffed into the 'mouth' of each one.
He wasn't drunk enough for this, dammit.
[Door is closed, post is open if anyone wants to investigate the sounds of rage and chaos from within.]
He didn't have classes today, he'd spent his entire break on the road and drunk, his behind still hurt from a certain drunken tattoo fiasco, he was going to sleep in.
Except that someone in his room wouldn't stop chattering. Kind of a squeaky sort of chatter that brought his sleep-fogged mind to think of an ill-made shoe, or something of the like. Annoying as all heck, sitting there beside his bed and nattering back and forth, every now and again breaking into giggles.
"Shuh'uuup," Reno commanded, in the way only a possibly still hungover, mostly asleep Turk could command.
The squeaking stopped.
And then started again, this time most certainly directed at him.
"We know what you diiiii~iid," one chirped.
"Gotta tattoo, no big deal," Reno mumbled. "Sleeping. Shh."
"We know what you aren't tellllling her," the other added. "About what you dooooo for ShinRaaaa~."
Oh. Well, that was different. The taunt sent a bit of an electric chill down his spine, and he ignored the ache in his rear as he sat up and looked around.
"We've seen it allllll."
"And we know what you stepped in! Pollen everywhere!"
"Very bad form, zoto."
"Very bad! Bad like chasing that Ancient that kept them pretty!"
"Bad like gathering people up to be forced into SOLDIER!"
"Bad like dropping the plaa~aate!"
Reno was awake now, and his hands were in fists, and he was going to kill someone. But there was... nobody there? Nono, there had to be. Mezcal worms weren't really hallucinogenic, and he had heard voices, and someone had to die right now. He stepped off his bed, and the squeaky things squeaked again in that distinctly shoe-like way, and skittered out of the way.
His shoes. His shoes were talking and moving and squeaking at him and taunting him.
"Watch where you put that foot," the slightly-more-squeaky left shoe commanded.
"Yeah," the other agreed, "we're sick of you walking all over us!"
"This some kinda messed up Fandom thing?" Reno's eyelid was developing a bit of a twitch, here.
"Give the guy with the badly-groomed toenails a cookie," the shoes singsonged in unison. Which prompted Reno to snarl and make a dive for them, ShinRa issue fine Wutai black chocobo leather be damned. They were going to be in a world of pain. "We're gonna telll her! Tellll her about the stuff you doooo!"
"I'm gonna rip your freakin' tongues out!!!"
A high-speed chase of comedic proportions, one toppled lamp and a bruised knee later, and Reno was triumphantly shoving the pair of shoes into separate drawers in his dresser, a wadded-up pair of dirty socks stuffed into the 'mouth' of each one.
He wasn't drunk enough for this, dammit.
[Door is closed, post is open if anyone wants to investigate the sounds of rage and chaos from within.]
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He was damn good at it, thank you very much.
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Reno's shoes: Still making conspiratory noises from the dresser.
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"An' how's that workin' out for you? Stop any mass-murderers or deflect any meteorites lately?"
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He shrugged. "See, I always figured you as more Deadpool-bad, not Doom-bad. Or are you really going to tell me that you just like being mean?"
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He didn't sound terribly flattered. He still sounded cranky.
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The question rose unbidden in his mind: Is Zuko?
He shook it off and shrugged again. "At least, you better be, for Rikku's sake, or else I'm gonna have to hurt you."
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The shoes were muttering amongst themselves.
"I am, however, gonna cut the tongues outta my shoes, zoto."
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He got up and thumped the dresser a few times. "Don't cut their tongues out. Tomorrow they'll be back to normal, and then you'll need to buy new shoes."
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The shoes in the dresser fell pretty quiet at that.
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Which was, of course, the cue for his boots to turn and head for a dark corner under the bed. With Sokka still in them.
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"My shoes would drink your boots right under the table," he decided.
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He stood up with his legs pretty far apart and tensed his muscles. "Let this be a lesson," he spat down at his boots.
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