raspberryturk | Edge, Friday Afternoon

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Edge, Friday Afternoon

Distress calls from Rookies, left, right, and center. That was what Reno came home to, after over a week without phone reception out in the wastes. And now it was the countdown, before one Rookie would get here, with Ifrit only knew what kind of trauma fresh in her head.

Pick up the phone. Dial numbers. He had well over an hour, between the time Ino's portal would arrive to pick her up, and the time it would actually make it into Edge, after all.

"The boss sends me on one mission in the middle of nowhere, Mako, an' the whole universe goes to Hell without me, zoto."

[NFB for distance, as usual. Open for anyone who needs a Reno call or who wants to give one, all calls will sit chronologically before a certain Ninja visitor, yo.]

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"Not a good night for fightin', then. That's fair. If we run into anything nasty, I'll deal with it, yo."

It would be ridiculously easy. Because that was just how Reno rolled.

"We can come back for smackin' monsters around another time." That attempt at a light tone was worrying, somehow. So, Reno was weaselling in a different branch of conversation. "New kinda missions, back home?"

Okay, not so much with the weaselling.

Ino didn't answer him immediately, idly kicking a bit of rubble, something, on the side of the road and watching it go flying.

"New missions," she said, eventually. "But, I guess, the ones I was born to do."

"Ah." Reno slowed enough so that he just had to glance sideways to see her. "They not what you expected they'd be?"

Her eyes flashed, but she still was't looking at him.

"I did the job," she said, voice sharp. "I did it even when there was s-someone who wasn't supposed to be there. Collateral damage."

Nice word for a dead four year old.

"And then, I got out and Asuma-sensei said good and Shikamaru and Chouji were more into bickering over what to grab for dinner before heading home and then I... went back to Fandom."

And fell apart.

Gods, she sounded exactly like some of the hell-bent Rookies that Reno had trained up before.

The dead ones.

Ow.

"You satisfied with the job you did, then?" Casual question, that. Reno was pulling out his smokes. Marlboros, because his other rookie was way too damn nice and she'd sent him a few cartons. The brand name amused them both. "See somethin' you would'a changed next time around?"

"Lock the door maybe," she said, arms behind her back. "But Kinjo never did, so I didn't because it would have been a break in the pattern. They--never locked the door."

"I don't know if I could be satisfied. E-Either way was a misstep." Ino was just going to ignore that wobble in her voice. Lots of ignoring.

Reno wasn't going to ignore that wobble. He just wasn't going to bring it up, either.

"Somethin' happened that wasn't supposed to?"

Why else would she be kicking herself for not locking the door?

She twisted a bit of her hair around one finger and tugged sharply at it, the small pain giving her something to focus on.

"Kinjo had a daughter," Ino said tonelessly. "A four year old. Kid came looking for her dad, late at night. Mission said no witnesses. Took her out while wearing her mom's body."

Mental filter: On. Rookie mode. The 'wearing bodies' bit was conveniently bypassed for the sake of focusing on the kid that Ino had to bump off.

"That was part of the job, too," he noted. "Can't really prep for somethin' like that happenin', though."

She nodded, a bit jerkily.

"But I'm the only one on my team that had any issue with the situation," she said, scowling down at the road. One foot in front of another. Step by step. "Sensei said good."

Ino looked up, at the--sky.

"I c-couldn't stay in Fandom, when I got back. Didn't want to talk and couldn't lie well enough to pretend it was alright." A sigh, her shoulders hitched up like warding off an imaginary blow. "Not good enough." Never going to be good enough at this rate.

Oh, Shiva.

"You looked the kid in the eyes first, didn't you?"

"Kid thought I was her mom," Ino answered. "And maybe lots of moms don't but Kinjo--seemed a pretty good one."

The downsides of spying on your target. Ow.

"It's harder to get over it if you look 'em in the eyes, first," Reno said. Frowning. Sharing the tricks of the trade, here. "It don't matter if your target figures it out because of it. They're gonna be dead either way, an' they won't be talkin' then."

She considered that silently.

"I'll remember," Ino said quietly. "I just--can't. Right now, it's all messed up and I keep thinking 'bout what... what other people would say."

"To hell with other people," Reno decided, stopping and standing still just long enough to give her an even look. "They wanna give you a hard time? They don't even know what your world's like, they got no place to judge."

Do the job.

"You got the job done, no matter what. The guy in charge said good. Damn, Rookie, I never got no praises for the work I did. Good for you."

She kept going for a step and a half before stopping. Ino wrapped her arms around herself though she wasn't cold.

Like Asuma-sensei the word good both soothed and unsettled.

"I did it," she answered, "and I'll do it again. Whenever Hokage-sama needs me too."

In and out and count to seven.

"But I--I don't know. It's stupid. I--Fandom hurts. Maybe other people don't got room to judge, but I do and I don't know what's right or wrong anymore. Hokage-sama ordered it. Asuma-sensei said good. I know what most of Fandom would say and I can't tell if they have a point or not any more. Maybe I'm mental now, 'cause it's not supposed to matter."

"But it sort of--does. But I'm not... guilty. I didn't do anything really... wrong. I did the job. That's what I'm supposed to do. Otherwise I'm a waste of space."

... Damn.

"Sometimes," Reno said, "the job hurts. No matter how good you do at it."

He turned and looked at the wreckage of Midgar, wincing a little before lifting a finger and pointing at a particular portion of that plate, one that seemed significantly closer to the ground than the rest.

"That part was me."

She silently raised her gaze to follow where he was pointing. It was--her mind reeled at the idea of how many people had been killed in that. Ino swallowed.

"The Turks don't hate you for it," Ino said, eventually. "My village doesn't think bad of me for what I do under orders. Maybe that's all that should matter."

Biting her lip, Ino reached to try and gently push his arm down. "But it doesn't mean that what other people do and say 'bout it doesn't hurt. I'm--scared. I don't want them to recoil, or worse. Some of them are my friends. And... I don't think you tell everyone 'bout that either." Another shivery breath. "What should matter and what does--I don't know if it's me being weak from being in Fandom so long or not. I'm not, it wasn't, you know... easy. But I'm not... I don't think I'm as bad off as Fandom people would be. Fandom's very... gentle."

You could be gentle and cruel all at the same time.

"Fandom's civilans," Reno replied, his hand returning to his pocket as he cast her a sideways glance. Couldn't look at Sector Seven right now. Couldn't stomach it. "I don't go broadcastin' what I did. Trusted a few people enough to tell 'em about that. Now I just pass it around to the ones who'll get it, once they earn it."

You get burned enough...

"Tseng an' Rude can't look me in the eye, when the plate comes up in conversation." Just sharing, really. "Just 'cause somethin' had to happen don't mean even the people on your side are always gonna be okay with it. That's another perk of the job, zoto. You do it good, you get judged for it from everywhere. But it's still the job."

She stared at the area where the plate had gone down, then up at him. "Thank you," Ino said, blue eyes steady. "For thinking I've earned it."

Personally, she wasn't sure she had.

"I know that, when it comes to facts," Ino shared, "but I don't think it's--sunk in yet. That there's... always judging." ANBU were the monsters of their village. The darkest jobs, the worst reputations. Little wonder why their identities were secret, why they wore the masks.

Ino, though, didn't have a mask.

"Is it wrong to look at--what you did--and want to say good job?" She didn't know if it would help, or hurt, or what. "Because it's awful, and horrible, but it was. A good job, I mean."

Reno went quiet for a long moment, considering that.

"Was a damn good job," he agreed, looking up at the fallen plate again. Twisted metal, screaming, didn't think he'd make it out, didn't want to. "An' I'm damn proud that I got the job done."

A long pause. Mulling it over for a minute more.

"I ain't proud about what I did. Just that it was another mission accomplished. Dunno if that'd make any sense to anyone who ain't had to do the dirty work, before."

She was just a baby, really, on the scale of things. Staring at what he'd done made Ino feel small. Weak.

Here she was upset over one mission and it wasn't even that--bad.

"It sounds like it should make sense," she said, scuffing her feet on the road. "I'm just a rookie."

"You're a rookie with a notch or two on your belt, now." He shrugged. "This is the job, Ino. There ain't no glory in it. You do it because it's gotta get done and there ain't nobody else made to take that mission. You take pride in it, because fuck knows if you ain't proud of the jobs you do right, you won't have nothin' to be proud of later."

"I did do a good job," she replied, giving her hair another tug. "I know that. Even the... kid. Just made framing Kinjo easier. Made it look worse."

She still felt cold though.

"I ran, from Fandom. 'Cause I couldn't play their lie. Does that make me weak?"

Anyone else, she wouldn't have asked. But Reno was the only one she knew well enough who really--got it. Her world. He trusted her, she could trust him back.

"I'm scared."

And Ino did not like admitting that, a slow flush spread across her cheeks. So weak, she chided herself.

"You're holdin' it together," Reno countered. Gently. Or, really, as gently as Reno ever could manage. "I didn't run from Fandom. I just did a lotta hidin' while I was there. If you're weak, Ino, so am I."

Hand in his pocket. Eye on the broken skyline.

"I spent a hell of a lotta time scared, too. You learn not to let it show. People confuse fear for weakness. That's bullshit. Fear keeps you alive. keep feelin' it. Only a damn idiot sacrifices himself like that for the job."

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