Rude's Apartment, Edge, Thursday Afternoon

[raspberryturk]

Too much drinking. Toooo much drinking, and fretting, and getting the rookie in trouble. And nothing in the world made a guy feel like cleaning his mouth out with sandpaper than a night that started with Corel ale, and then headed into rum and ice-cream territory. And really, it was a wonder that Reno had managed to drag his sorry ass back home last night in the first place.

Eventually, it would occur to him that there were only so many places that Rude could have swiped that rum from, and he'd be suitably cranky about it. But for now he'd just content himself with ooozing over the edge of the lumpy couch, scraping the taste from his tongue with his teeth, and then fumbling about for his jacket, which had been ringing off and on for the past two hours.

Well, not his jacket. The phone in his jacket pocket. He didn't want to answer it. That ringtone was his boss, and he didn't have to be in until later, and Tseng could just go and kiss his own--

"Yo?"

"Reno." Oh, Reno knew that tone already, and was already wondering if he could get away with hanging up and insisting up and down that his battery had died. Tseng was not a happy man, by any stretch of the imagination. "Are you aware of the current situation regarding Elena?"

It wasn't a question. It was phrased like one, sure, but Reno knew better than to think that Tseng was asking him anything. Tseng phoned Reno when he knew damn well what he was going to say. And then Reno snarked right along with it, in the sort of counterpoint that usually ended in him pulling overtime with a salary cut.

Really, it was one of Reno's favorite hobbies. Between this and seeing exactly how long it took for him to get himself slapped by hot chicks in front of their boyfriends at the local drinking holes? Reno probably needed to find some better ways to pass his spare time.

"Aware, as in, aware, or aware as in you're gonna tell me what you want already, Boss?"

"She walked out last night."

... Huh. This straightforward stuff wasn't exactly how Reno had expected the verbal tapdance to go. Tseng liked his roundabouts and his figure-it-out-for-yourselfs, typically.

"An' you want me to do what about that, Boss?"

"She informed me shortly before doing so that you had been drinking with her. What can you tell me about that?"

"We were checkin' out Tifa's tits."

"Reno."

"And talkin' about gettin' Rude laid, yo."

"Reno." Reno could practically hear Tseng pinching the bridge of his nose and counting to ten in his head, in that statement.

"An' then talkin' about how she'd rather screw you than watch Tifa an' Cloud go at it like moogles in heat, yo."

Silence. Dead. Silence. The sort of silence that meant that there was something lurking in wait just around the corner, and it was going to jump out and tear at Reno's jugular at any given moment. Reno was insane. He liked these silences. It gave him an opportunity to figure out exactly how to parry whatever the hell was coming next.

"I should ask, then," Tseng finally said, his words even and calculated and practically dripping venom, "why it was that I wasn't made aware of Elena's affections sooner."

Again, not a question.

Again, Reno should have known better than to open his mouth.

"Well, Boss," he said, cooly, in that sort of tone that implied that he really did have better things to do, and if Tseng didn't mind, perhaps he could consider letting him hang up sometime soon, "I kinda figured that any competent Turk would be able to tell when the Rookie was trippin' over herself because of a crush, yo."

More silence. This wasn't the 'lurking in wait' silence. This was the 'Tseng is probably counting his bullets and calculating all of Reno's available escape routes' silence.

"Where is Elena now? There was no answer at her apartment."

"Oh, she left already. Figured she'd get one good day livin' it up around Gaia before takin' off for a while."

"Taking off, Reno?"

"I told her about this place where she could find herself a little piece of sky, zoto. Plenty of hot ass there that ain't gonna blow her off, even."

"I see."

"I even promised not to streak at her graduation ceremony."

Silence. More silence. Reno really, really wasn't going to like what was coming next, was he?

"Take the day off, Reno." ... Well. That had been unexpected. "As we're now down one Turk, you won't be getting another one for a very, very long time."

And then the line went dead.

Daaaaamn.


[NFB for distance, as usual. Reno's open for phone calls or what-have-you. Elena's whereabouts mentioned with enabling permission from findingelena, and I find Tseng's temper to be entirely too much fun to play. Entirely.]

Comments

[withoutverona]

Romeo had finally, victoriously, gotten the cable company to agree to come now, and was celebrating this feat with a phone call to Reno.

... no, he didn't have much to do with himself just now.

Ring, Reno's phone, ring!

[raspberryturk]

Ringing! It was ringing!

In a ringtone that suggested that there wasn't impending doom awaiting him on the other end of the line.

Reno was, however, still in a bit of a state of shock as he answered. Could anyone really blame him?

"... Yo?"

[withoutverona]

"Reno," Romeo enthused with absolutely no impending doom, "we're in Tokyo and I managed to convince the cable company to come without bribery or getting Yurika to shout at them. How are you?"

[raspberryturk]

Awww, Romeo sounded all happy, and junk! That was enough to make Reno grin a little, in spite of all the crap that had been flying around since yesterday.

"Better after hearin' a voice on the other end of the line that ain't gonna punch me in the face next time he sees me," Reno chuckled. "You got the cable company to show, huh? Speakin' in that fake-Wutai an' everything?"

[withoutverona]

"In real Japanese," Romeo confirmed. "It's not much, but I'll take my victories where I can find them for now. Who's going to punch you in the face?"

[raspberryturk]

"Tseng, if I stand still long enough," Reno mused, frowning and leaning backwards into the lumpy couch yet again. "Bit of a long story, there. I tried somethin' the other night that turned out to be a little less than victorious, an' he's got me pullin' double shifts from here on because of it, yo."

Reno had been planning on pulling the extra weight anyhow, but it seemed more like a sentence than volunteer work when Tseng told him that he had to.

"But damn, cable's good. You watchin' messed up game shows as we speak?"

[withoutverona]

"Now I will be," Romeo said, clicking the TV on and flipping through channels until he found a grown man dressed like a firefighter and squirming through a pool of whipped cream. He was momentarily transfixed, and the line was silent until ... "What went wrong with Tseng? I have time for a long story."

He was, after all, watching adults play with their food. He could totally do that and talk at the same time.

[raspberryturk]

Oh, what Reno would do for television that was half as idiotic as that stuff, instead of news reports on radiation levels and deaths-by-monsters.

Television in Edge sucked.

"I bet you wouldn't be surprised if I started by tellin' you that I was drinkin' before it happened?"

[withoutverona]

If only fake-Wutai could export TV to another world...

"You were probably drinking before anything including brushing your teeth happened," Romeo couldn't resist pointing out. "But no, not at all."

[dojima-hime.livejournal.com]

Reno's phone probably wasn't ringing. It was probably making whatever noises it made when he had an incoming text message.

did u kno i'm a 'menace to society' red? apparently ur not supposed to leave the keys in the car. who knew?

Oh yes, someone was at work and clearly slacking off, much to her coworker's dismay

[raspberryturk]

Oooh. Text message! That was a pleasant distraction!

Reno reached for his phone, read the text, and then broke into a lopsided grin.

that so? some1 run away w/ur car alredy or wat?

Hey, slacking was part of her cover. Far be it from Reno to do anything to blow her cover. He'd help slack, and gladly.

[dojima-hime.livejournal.com]

on training run & locked sourpuss fearless-leader out of car. And oh, was Amon bitchfacing about it. whatevs. that's what the tow guys are for. Im providing job security 4 them.

Or something.

[raspberryturk]

Reno would text her back just as soon as he was done snickering.

keepn them frm gettn bored even. ur doin them gud doji.

Really! It wouldn't do to be bored on the job, would it?

[dojima-hime.livejournal.com]

diiiiiiiiiiiiirty. only person i'm doin good is romeo. but the car-guys like me just fine anyways.

WHAT? She couldn't just leave that opening! It was right there and Reno would be sad if she didn't exploit it.

[raspberryturk]

He would have been! He would have been very, very sad!

thats cuz u keep givin em ideas. tease!

And this was so much more fun!

[dojima-hime.livejournal.com]

It took a few moments for the next message to come through, as she had to make faces at Amon while he tried to stand there and silently bully her into putting it away.

To his surprise, and everyone's amusement, it was not a tactic that was working particularly well on Dōjima. Feeling guilt would require that she thought she was doing something wrong, which, well, she wasn't.

Technically. She was supposed to be the world's worst employee.

new ideas are good for the soul, she typed back primly. i wouldn't want their imaginations to get rusty. that would be sad :(

[raspberryturk]

at least ur makin em happy. Reno certainly couldn't deny that particular logic, after all. they leave w/grins on there faces 2?

Reno's feet had found their way to the floor, and he was making a reach for the ferret. Today was a 'wrestle Mako until you bleed' kind of day, all things considered.

[bitchprince]

There were no words and no voice on the message that Arthur sent.

Instead it had two (2) pictures of his boots in the grass of the park, and three (3) images of Leto Atreides the Second, Prince Royal of the Universe (or whatever his title was, Arthur couldn't remember) wrestling a flamingo while trying to play croquet in the park.

Let it never be said Arthur wasn't up for frat boy tactics.

God help them all once he figured out how to send duplicates to Romeo.

[raspberryturk]

Reno was going to sit and stare at these pictures for the rest of his life. Honest.

He was going to just sit there. And gape. And then howl with laughter for a good half-hour before finally typing in a text reply, actually taking pains to use proper grammar in the face of the fact that they were already bound to be teasing someone, and they didn't need fuel to poke at Reno, too, right?

Leto and pink birds? What did I miss?

And then, five seconds later, and with slightly less proper grammar:

also nice boots man

[bitchprince]

He is attempting some new kind of sport, Arthur texted back, Or he's lost his mind.

And about three minutes later (because this took him longer than Reno), My boots are very nice.

It would probably make more sense if he capitalized 'are', but being unfamiliar with the practice, he felt this held up.

[raspberryturk]

maeby both? crazy letosports make 4 kickass pikturs tho

Yep. All effort at proper grammar had been tossed out the window already. Mostly because Reno got started on the message back, realized that he wasn't entirely certain on the proper spelling of 'maybe,' and then promptly gave up.

He could turn on that thing on his phone that automatically chose the word for him, but that had turned "fucked" into "ducked" last night, and so he wasn't going near it again. Ever.

[bitchprince]

Why is there a random 4 in the middle of that sentence?

It was a toss-up between whether Arthur would continue to mock him, or pick up chatspeak. Or both.

[raspberryturk]

Both would be fun!

easier 2 type than spelin out for by using numbrs.

The same reason there was a random 2 in the middle of that last sentence! Silly.

[bitchprince]

Arthur squinted at his mobile. "Two," he said, out loud.

After a moment, he texted back, That's clever.

[raspberryturk]

its cheatng

Well, it kind of was!

but if u ever saw a phone like this an had 2 hit the same numbr like 10 times to spel a word, ud do it 2 mr blackbery.

Even if the end result left him looking like a retarded ape using a cellphone, yes.