raspberryturk | Office Hours, Sunday

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Office Hours, Sunday

Aww, yeah. Reno could get used to this having-an-office-of-his-own shit.

It wasn't that he had any great plans for it or anything. Hell, he hadn't even really thought about spending any time in here right up until yesterday when he figured that he should show up in order to do that parent-teacher interview crap. But this was the place, the one place in the whole freaking multiverse, where he could walk in, toss his shit on his desk, put his feet up, and never have to worry about Tseng beaking at him about the use of filing cabinets. Or about Rikku's recent invasion of fuzzy orange home decor shit.

Yep. Reno could live with this.

If anybody came in looking for an interview with the Unconventional Tactics teacher today, they'd find him with his chair leaning backwards, his feet up on his desk, and a lazy grin on his face.

Heh. They gave him an office. How friggin' messed up was that?

[Open!]

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"You look like you been inhalin' nitrous oxide all day," Reno confided. "What the hell?"

Elena opened her mouth. Closed it again. Laughed, again.

"I can't tell you," she said. "You might fuck it up. And you're not allowed to fuck this up for me."

She would cut his heart out and set it on fire. Seriously.

Reno just gave Elena his most innocent smile, at that.

"Who, me?" Well, yeah. "You know if you don't tell me, I'm gonna have to come up with shit all on my own, right? An' the shit I come up with, it's gonna be ten times worse, yo."

It was true. Give in while you can, Elena. Save yourself.

"It's not just me," she said, rolling her eyes. "You would harass him about it because you can't ever not give Tseng shit about something and then what? Then it's ruined for me anyway, because --"

Hey, Elena? You already said most of it.

"Knew it," Reno laughed, clapping his hands the moment Elena had gotten the initial 'Ts' sound out.

Dooooomed.

"How the hell did you manage that? Shit, between you an' me? I was startin' to wonder if he was some kinda queer."

Classy, Reno.

Elena was trying to glare. It wasn't going very well.

"Is that why you left him so many pictures of your dick?" she asked.

Oh, come now. Reno wouldn't be Reno if he couldn't take statements like that one in stride.

"Thought he might be gettin' lonely," he sniffed. "Anyhow, he always took the photos better'n he handled that day I jiggled my tits in his face."

Thank you, Fandom!

"You think he's tit-phobic?" she said, blushing despite herself. She should not be discussing her boss-and-probably-BOYFRIEND-for-actual-real-and-everything like this. "That could be a problem."

"Certainly ain't gonna be doin' you no favors, is it?" Reno smirked faintly, giving Elena a once-over.

... Yes, it was a leer. Really, now. This was Reno.

Elena had to roll her eyes. It was Reno. She couldn't be surprised by that, no.

"I'm going to assume he's not," she said, flushing again. "And no, you won't get updates if he is."

"Hey, I don't need to get 'em from you," Reno pointed out, all smiles. "I already got an operative in the field, zoto. One of the best there is."

And, really, if there was anyone on Gaia who could out-sneak Rude, Reno would be surprised. People barely noticed he was there when he was casually walking on by. Which was quite the feat for a man who was so massive.

... And, if you asked Reno, also The Planet's biggest loudmouth.

It was like Reno and Rude were telepathic. They exchanged a look and had detailed conversations.

Especially impressive, since Rude hardly ever changed expression.

"You're going to sic Rude on us?" she said, mood dampening slightly at the prospect of a tag-team coordinated attack. "And you're surprised I didn't want to tell you?"

"Aw, Rookie," Reno chided, "Rookie, Rookie, Rookie. You know if you didn't tell me, me an' Rude findin' out on our own would'a been a whole lot worse, zoto."

Because then the relentless teasing would have started.

The relentless teasing of Tseng, just to spite Elena for not being all open and sharing with her two favorite pains in the ass.

"It would have at least given us more time before you guys fucked it up," she grumbled.

It had been hard enough trying to get Tseng into a it-probably-counted-as-a-relationship-at-this-point, without outside interference.

And that got Reno making his pouty face again.

"Do I look like I'm plottin' to fuck you both over yet?"

Honestly, Rookie! That accusation hurt!

"You wouldn't do it on purpose," Elena sighed. "You'd just tease him so much that he got weird about it and broke it off, and then I'd be back where I started."

"Damn, it's good to know you got so much faith in me," Reno groused, crossing his arms over his chest.

Elena hesitated, biting her lip, before deciding to spill the rest of it.

Because, well. Reno was right. If he didn't hear it from her, it'd be worse.

"We've been dating ... sort of ... I think ... since graduation," she said, carefully. "We didn't actually kiss until this morning."

Perhaps Reno underestimated how amazingly fucking fragile this was?

Unless Tseng was coming around. He had answered the door half-naked.

Not that he had known it was her. Still nice.

Reno was going to continue sitting there, looking put-out and butthurt.

Really, Rookie? You really figured that Reno was going to go and fuck all this up accidentally? There was a reason that he was the second in-command, and you were the Rookie, here.

He was going to hang on to that pout for a bit.

"Okay, so you're takin' it slow. Sounds more effective than stormin' out in a fit was last year, at least."

Elena seemed to be holding her breath.

"... That's it?" she said. "No cracks about him being a eunuch, no pointing and laughing? Really?"

Give her a moment to process, here.

Reno considered that for a moment, and then shrugged.

"Is it gonna somehow get Tseng off my ass if I call him names? I guess I could fuck with your head and point out that I got more experience with serious relationships than you, Tseng, an' Rude combined, yo."

Now wasn't that a scary thought?

"I just meant --"

Whoa. Hang on.

"... holy shit."

That was ... that was ...

that was fucking disturbing.

Edited 2010-10-07 00:33 (UTC)

Reno, in response to that, just smiled and held up his hand, showing off that pretty little ring that he wore.

Yep. Suck on that, Rookie.

Elena was going to facepalm. What exactly was the world coming to? Reno wore a ring, and lived with a girl who couldn't dress herself. She and Tseng had made out in his hotel room. Only Rude seemed to have avoided the craziness. Maybe he was immune.

"I will never get used to that," she said. Reno. Girlfriend. Nope.

At the same time, Reno might actually be a good source of advice. He was the first Turk in a long time to make a relationship work.

Unless you counted Verdot, and you really shouldn't, considering how that ended.

"Okay, so ... you ... think it's good that we're going slow?" she asked. "It wasn't ... planned or anything, I just decided to ... I don't know. Back off? If we're going to dinner, we'll go to dinner, and if he drops me off and goes back to the office without a kiss, then that's fine, we'll have dinner another time."

Pushing only made him retreat. So she'd stopped pushing, and when that had worked, had held her breath trying desperately not to fuck up.

Nah, Rude totally wasn't immune. But Elena didn't need to know about that AVALANCHE chick that he'd tried to date. Or, at least, Reno didn't figure it was his place to tell her all about it.

"Yeah, let him set the pace," Reno replied, shrugging a little. "Sometimes you gotta back off to show you're willin' to let 'em figure out where they're comfortable sittin', yo."

She and Rosalind really should compare notes, at some point. But that would involve telling Rosalind about her and Tseng, and she was worried how that would go over.

"Did you have to, with your girl?" she asked. "How did that happen, anyway?"

Because ... seriously.

"Yeah, I had to, with my girl," Reno replied, smirking. "Rikku ain't the kinda girl to just hop into bed with someone, yo."

... So, you know, she wasn't anything like Reno, in that regard.

"Just kinda happened, anyhow. I guess me learnin' something in Al Bhed didn't hurt, though."

Like, at all.

Cusadrehk.

"I figured out what his name meant, in Wutaian," she offered. Hey, it was something, wasn't it?

And please hold while Elena tried to picture Reno taking things slowly with some girl. Dates? From the guy who tried banging the waitress any time he went out for food?

"Why?" she asked, finally. "I mean ... you meet a girl, she won't sleep with you, so ..."

It didn't follow. She couldn't wrap her head around the start of it.

Reno shook his head a bit. It wasn't that simple. It was never that simple. If it was just the challenge that he was in for, he would have used her and dumped her, easy enough.

"I met a girl," he clarified, "and she was too damn good for me. Still is. But for some damn reason, she stuck around."

That was ... perhaps the least expected answer she could have gotten.

"I never pegged you for a romantic," she said.

Reno actually smirked a little at that.

"You also spent how many years thinkin' that I hated your face?"

That earned him a stuck-out tongue.

"Right, wherever could I have gotten a crazy idea like that?"

Really, Elena should know better than to try to out-raspberry a pro like Reno.

"Beats the hell outta me," he laughed, shaking his head. "Okay, so you annoyed the shit outta me. But I never had nothin' against your face in particular."

"It wasn't even me you were angry at, anyway," said Elena, in a rare moment of insight.

Okay, she'd been annoying, but all Rookies were annoying.

"Nah, not usually," Reno agreed with a shrug. "But if you ever try an' lecture me about professionalism again, I'll piss in your next bottle of beer, yo."

Because he cared, Elena. Because he cared.

"It'd still taste better than Corel Ale," Elena shuddered. "Any chance I can get you to send me some decent liquor from here?"

"Write me a list, I'll see what I can do," Reno decided. "Just so long as you share with Rude. I can't afford to be sendin' you both care packages on top of everything else I'm payin' for, yo."

Those kids that he had been feeding beans to? Reno was sending weekly payments to Reeve to see to it that he personally brought food out to them. He didn't like Reeve, but he trusted the guy not to fuck it up.

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