Room 429, Monday Evening

[raspberryturk]

Reno was going to sit on his bed and eye his cellphone. Dojima was right, really. If he couldn't understand the concept of giving people time, he should at least call Rude and tell him that he wasn't five anymore, and all reports for the time being would be typed up in a semi-sane manner.

And that would be why he was eying his phone.

He wasn't, however, reaching for it.

It was just fine where it was sitting. He could call Rude up any time, take the heat for getting him in crap with Tseng or whatever, and maybe he'd have things sorted out a little better by then. There were, after all, a lot of things to sort through.

Yeah. Yeah, he didn't have to pick up the phone after all. Save Rude the trouble. The big guy would appreciate it later.

[ooc: The door is open a crack, and the post is totally open for invasion from random persons. Oooooo.]

Comments

[raspberryturk]

He snaked an arm around her waist when she sat down, because that was simply the proper position to assume while doing the totally-not-cuddling-in-a-heap-of-pillows-while-talking thing.

"I'm fine," he said easily. "Don't worry about it. Your turn now, to talk, right?"

[the_merriest]

Her arm should go over his. Okay, then.

"You're not fine," she said. "But we'll get back to that, zoto."

Deep breath.

"A thousand years ago. And it went crazy, out in the ocean, tearing things up, until Yunalesca --" She couldn't help frowning at the name. "-- stopped it. With something she called the Final Summoning. It killed her, and it killed her husband, and Sin came back, ten years later. But sending it away for ten years, people thought that was better than nothing. And that's kinda how it all started."

[raspberryturk]

"Few years of quiet beats a constant fear," Reno agreed, nodding slightly and closing his eyes. Listening was better if his eyes were closed, and it was just the two of them and their words, and the rest of the world could go away. "So... people kept doin' that?"

[the_merriest]

"A religion started," Rikku said carefully. "It called itself Yevon. Yevon taught Summoners how to perform the Final Summoning. Yevon also had a list of things that people were doing that caused the monster to happen. Using technology. Being at war with each other. Not being self-sacrificing in the name of Yevon. People destroyed their machi-- machines and burned all the books on information. Anything to appease the monster, no matter how irrational it was. They lived in the ruins of advanced cities. And whenever it came back, Summoners would make the long pilgrimage to Zanarkand. Nearly all of them died before they ever got there, no matter how many Guardians they had. If you were a Summoner, it was your sacred duty to get to Zanarkand and die for the rest of Spira, or to go as far as you could and die trying. Yevon called the monster 'Sin.' Subtle, huh?"

[raspberryturk]

"Real subtle," Reno sighed, and gave her a little squeeze. "Take your whole way of life and blow it to shit because of a monster you can't take on. And... Shit, I dunno. Somethin' about makin' the summoners do that just don't sit right with me."

Kind of like taking "sacrificing yourself for the job" to the extreme.

... It actually frightened Reno a little, as he tried to piece together what that world must have been like for anyone who didn't adhere to those rules. Grease-monkeys. Bullshit. But not like anyone would care.

Save the world. But never quite the right way.

[the_merriest]

"Never sat right with me either," Rikku said, biting her lip. "We ... there were those of us who thought ... where's the proof for all of this? Why can't we build big machines and blow Sin up? The Yevonites said that once humanity achieved atonement for everything it did that was bad, then Sin would go away. And questioning all those stupid rules, that was wrong, so you were just pushing the date back further and further. So ... most of Spira went along with it. Temples and fayth and Summoners. We didn't. We said there wasn't proof to believe and we weren't getting rid of our machina. That's ... what it means, when I say I'm an Al Bhed. We left everyone else and went out into the desert. And they blamed us. They were all atoning. Maybe Sin would be gone by now, if not for those sinners and nonbelievers."

She shook her head. "So they hated us. They tried to destroy our machina. And us. Because without us, maybe Sin would be gone. And we ... couldn't understand why none of them bothered to think. Maybe Sin would be gone if we had all worked together on a way to defeat it, for good, instead of sending Summoners off to be killed. One after another after another."

[raspberryturk]

"Desperate people will do a lot of things. Doesn't mean they're the right ones," he muttered, nodding again. "Easier to do as you're told than think, and blame everyone else because at least then it ain't on your own head."

A thousand years was a very long time to hate and be hated.

[the_merriest]

"On and on. Sin destroys towns that get big, so we all spread out. Sin says all machina is bad, except the stuff you need to play blitzball. That's been specially okayed. You'd think ..." She pulled his arms a little tighter around her. "You'd think that after a while you'd go, this isn't working. There's just death and stagnation. None of this makes any sense. Instead they were just more and more willing to throw bodies on the pile."

Rikku took another deep breath. "We Al Bhed, we wanted to stop Sin, too. Just because we didn't follow Yevon, that didn't mean we were on Sin's side. It was hurting us, too. We wanted to use machina to destroy it. We wanted to work with the Crusaders, and some of them wanted to beat Sin so badly, they wanted to work with us, too. And we started ... w-we started kidnapping Summoners. Not to hurt them. We kept them in the Summoners' Sanctum. We gave them food and took care of them. We just ... didn't want them to go on the pilgrimages any more."

There was a slight pause. "I know it was stupid. But Pops ... he found out Yunie was going. And that was ... he snapped, you know?"

[raspberryturk]

Reno listened quietly while she spoke, nodding a little every now and then.

"Yuna's your family, right? I mean, you don't just let family... run off to get killed. Not if there could be another way, zoto."

[the_merriest]

"She is," Rikku said. "There was a Summoner named Braska, and he thought ... he thought maybe the Yevonites and the Al Bhed should talk to each other, and not hate each other all the time. So he came to our Home and learned Al Bhed and he fell in love with this girl. They ran away together, I mean, nobody was really going to be okay with it, you know? Pops was furious; she was his baby sister."

Like most such stories from Spira, it was short and ended painfully. "They sent a message when Yuna was born. He said he forgave everything, he wanted to meet his niece. They went by boat. Sin attacked. Yunie and her dad survived. Her mom didn't." She was playing with his fingers now, idly. "So Braska decided to become a Summoner, and when Yuna was seven, he went off on his pilgrimage. Beat Sin. Died. Left her an orphan. She moved to Besaid and never let on that she was half-Al Bhed. Ten years later she became a Summoner. Pops ... I know it was against the teachings, I know it wasn't fair to the Summoners, they should get to choose. But some of them didn't even want to go, any more. Dona kept saying that, later, on the airship. That she wanted to quit and go live somewhere with Barthello, but if she did, no one would ever forgive her. For quitting. For being selfish. Letting everyone down. It was wrong. I'm not saying we were right, but ..."

[raspberryturk]

"There's such a thing as more right." He shrugged a shoulder slightly and gave her another squeeze. "People should get to choose this kinda thing, yo. Not be expected to just march off and get themselves killed for somethin' that doesn't really work anyhow. Just one big freakin' circle, and damn if I don't wanna smack whoever decided that's how it's gotta be, zoto."

[the_merriest]

"But some of them did choose it," Rikku said, settling in and frowning. "And we were keeping them from it. I don't care, though. We were keeping them alive. I mean. It was better than ... maybe it wasn't. I don't know any more. It felt like something. Pops wasn't thinking at all. And I ... I was supposed to get Yunie? But her Guardians kinda beat me up."

She frowned. "She pulled me aside. And she said ... don't fight me. Help me. And I had a hundred reasons not to. I don't believe in any of this religious crap. I think you're killing yourself for nothing. I love you and I don't want you to die." Deep breath. "I mean, not to mention, you know. Nobody's gonna let me be a Guardian. I'm an Al Bhed. She kinda didn't care. 'I need you.' And that's all it took."

[raspberryturk]

Reno was quiet for a long while, a frown on his lips.

"Family's family," he said at last, then bit his lip. "I mean, if it means somethin', then you can't just..."

He took another breath and shrugged faintly.

"Okay. So you joined her on her pilgrimage, zoto."

[the_merriest]

"I did," Rikku said. "That was ... after Mi'ihen. We skipped Mi'ihen, just now. Didn't skip it, really. I wasn't there. Wasn't allowed to go. I begged. I screamed. Pops locked me in my room. I've never seen him that mad."

[raspberryturk]

"Mi'ihen went bad, didn't it?" She'd suggested it enough, Reno could put that much together. "Then it's good he kept you behind, zoto."

[the_merriest]

"The Crusaders. They ... were with Yevon, they fought to protect the cities. And the Chocobo Knights. And we Al Bhed, we found some really big old machina. Canons and things like that. So everyone joined up for Operation Mi'ihen. The Crusaders got excommunicated for it. Their families wouldn't talk to them. But they ... were going to lure Sin in and ambush it. With firepower and swords and the huge machina? Throw everything at it."

Talking about it, all this death, it made her so tired, suddenly.

"It was over fast. They found some survivors. Under the bodies. The Crusaders said it was the divine punishment of Yevon, for daring to go against the teachings. The Chocobo Knights were just three knights and a Chocobo."

[raspberryturk]

He couldn't hold her close enough, now, couldn't possibly pull her tightly enough into his chest to make any of this better. But that didn't mean he wasn't going to try.

Her world didn't sound a heck of a lot better than his, at this point.

"That's... rough." There were better words than that, somewhere. Reno was going to have quite the time of it, trying to find them. "Things... probably didn't get much better after that, huh?"

[the_merriest]

"We had to cross the Thunder Plains," she said flatly, pulling his arms close again. "Huge area, nonstop storm. Then in Macalania, they wouldn't let me in the temple. Her kind isn't welcome here. And then we got in and found out Seymour was crazy and killing people and so we ... he was gonna hurt Yunie. We had to. We killed him. He was above the law, he was a Maester, there was nothing else we could do."

It still ate at her. It was like Luke's dad had said. She chose to take a life. It didn't just go away.

[raspberryturk]

Ouch. Ouch. Lightning and more of that anti-Al Bhed crap, and then...

Ouch.

"You did what you had to," he murmured, leaning a little to rest his chin on her shoulder. "Doesn't make it easier, but if there wasn't a choice..."

[the_merriest]

"There was," she said. "There always is. That's what I've been yelling at you for, isn't it? He decided he was going to marry Yuna, and she agreed if he'd turn himself in. And he said he was just going to marry her anyway, and drag her off, and I was not going to let him touch her. And he said, well, if you're so eager to die, let's get to it."

Deep breath.

"Afterwards, the Guado, they ... they freaked out. We told them. He killed his own father. He was plotting and murdering and we had proof. They destroyed it. We were to stand trial for what we did. We ran, all the way back to the woods. We fell under the ice. Sin came, then. I woke up in the desert. Bikanel Island, where I grew up. Sin ... does that, sometimes. Carries people for miles and miles in its undertow."

Easier to talk about Sin than go on with her story.

[raspberryturk]

She could take her story wherever she needed to, even if it boiled down to talking without touching on any of it at all, anymore. Reno would listen so long as she was talking, and he might listen longer, after all the talking was finished, too.

"Sounds like one hell of a trip," he said, softly.

[the_merriest]

"I said I'd take everyone to Home," she said, the words barely audible. "It's just this way. Promise you'll never tell. Who knows what the Yevonites would do if they found us. Past the cactuar stones, past the old storefront, over the hill and I screamed. Fires. Fiends. Bodies. Keyakku, running towards us, and a dual-horn knocking him down. I ran to him. 'Who's attacking us? Fru tet drec du oui?' He. He said 'Yevon,' and 'Guado,' and then he didn't say anything else."

[raspberryturk]

Reno drew in a long, slow breath, his eyes closed, and if he just gently shifted their weights about a little he could rest his chin on her shoulder and lean his head sideways so that his cheek was pressed to hers, and maybe that would begin to be close enough. Maybe.

Not nearly, but maybe.

"I'm... sorry," he whispered.

There weren't words. And he was them. And maybe even if there were words, he wouldn't be someone who had any right to say them. But he could say that, because he couldn't just leave it silent.

[the_merriest]

His cheek against hers, his arms, warm and safe, and ... all of the horrors rushing back. The thick haze of smoke, the whine of the gears, corridors filled with fiends and bodies, and she couldn't stop, couldn't fold the arms and close the eyes, couldn't check to see if 'dead' was just 'injured', couldn't grab them and bring them along, because Home was crashing down and Yunie was in the Sanctum and her friends, her family, her tribe was lying dead around her.

Yuna gone, Dona and Isaaru sending the dead. Everything in ruins. Everything they had worked for. Everything they were.

She turned, sideways, sliding her arms around and settling in lower, face pressed against the curve of his neck. He wouldn't tell if her shoulders were trembling. He wouldn't tell if his neck got damp. He wouldn't tell if she let herself feel it, just once.

[raspberryturk]

He wouldn't tell if she had to feel it. It was hers. Theirs, if she would let him share it. That's what they were doing right now, wasn't it? With his arms around her and her arms around him and with her feeling it right now- They were sharing it. He'd feel it too, or just let her pour it out against him, or be whatever it was that she needed.

Close. He would be close. And he would rub his thumb in little circles against her back, and close his eyes, and feel it too.