raspberryturk | Office Hours, Thursday

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Office Hours, Thursday

Reno... really didn't have anything better to do today but come and hang out in his office, no.

Okay, sure, so there was the mother of all freaking bouquets on his desk, courtesy of his smart-assed co-teacher. And the flowers were starting to go a little...

Uh. Soggy, Reno supposed, was a good word for it.

So he was here today, up to his elbows in rotting flowers, with his nose wrinkled as he picked out all the valuable little nick-nacks from inside of it.

Pearls? Seriously?

The one upside, anyhow, was that Reno could sell some of this crap off and send the money back to Edge or Junon or something. This monster could totally go a long way, back home. Not that he suspected for an instant that maybe something like that was what Genesis had in mind...

[Open door, open office! Since I remembered that Reno actually has one of these things, today!]

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Reno was pretty obviously chewing the inside of his cheek now, to keep from laughing too hard.

"Damn." He gave his own head a bit of a shake. "I guess it could'a been worse. He could'a needed some kinda water tank, or a steady supply of flies, or some shit, yo."

Reno was dreadfully helpful. Truly.

Anakin couldn't suppress his indelicate snort. "I'll have to ask Zoe where we draw the line at accommodating students."

"I ain't in the habit of pattin' nobody's ass," Reno noted, "but I ain't about to leave a rookie up shit creek without a paddle, neither. I guess there's probably some kinda balance, somewhere in the middle."

A pause.

"Kinda makes you wonder what a frog wants with knowin' how to fly a spaceship, though."

Anakin paused.

"...I probably should have asked."

"See," Reno snorted, "you just went an' facilitated some kinda interplanetary amphibian invasion. He's gonna go home and teach all his little frog friends these spaceship secrets, an' then take his revenge on the whole damn universe for... I dunno. French cuisine and shitty terrariums."

Anakin snickered. "I'll rue the day."

He didn't seem all that worried.

"There just ain't no makin' up for that, man. Unless they run into some kinda trouble convertin' their pilot seats into lily-pads, or somethin'."

... Flying attack bogs. They'd be all the rage.

"I never did mention how to refuel the ships either," Anakin added. "So that might help us to survive past the initial wave of froggy fury."

"Hey, even if they did know how, do you suppose they'd be able to reach to do the refuelin' thing, anyhow?"

It would be kind of funny, trying to watch them hop that high.

"Maybe they'd stand on each other's shoulders?" Anakin suggested with a wicked smile.

Reno pursed his lips and mulled over that one for a moment. "It'd be a shame if one of 'em went and sneezed, yo."

Frogs everywhere.

Anakin burst out laughing at the mental image he was presented with. "I think the island would probably be able to handle a frog invasion," he decided. "Even in spaceships."

If it were pigs, though...

Oh, pigs were a completely different matter.

Especially ones with boobs. They had wicked karate-chop action backing them up.

"Considerin' some of the crap we've been through here, I'd be surprised if we couldn't, yo."

Really. They'd already dealt with muppets en masse. Frogs were nothing, once you knew how to handle them.

"We should put together a scale of invasions," Anakin said with a smile. "'Oh, this is okay, but it's no zombie invasion,'" he added.

There was a slight curl to Reno's lip at the mention of the zombies. Yeah, Reno so hadn't been a fan of that one.

"With different categories? 'On a one to ten, with the Angels bein' ten, the frogs get a negative three in creepy, yo.'"

He nodded. "Creepiness, Messiness, and general 'huh'?" he offered.

"There should probably be a category in there for 'why the hell are you outside through this,' too," Reno mused, "but if we make up somethin' like that, then everyone's gonna wanna be out in it anyhow."

That was just how Fandomites rolled.

Anakin rolled his eyes. "Force, yes. Invasions bring out their idiot tendencies. We, naturally, were much smarter as students."

Or something.

"Less likely to get ourselves eaten, anyhow," Reno offered. "It's like the nasties think that we're too bony or somethin', once we stop bein' students."

Never mind, of course, that Reno really was pretty bony.

So was Anakin when you got past the billion layers of Jedi clothing.

...not that he was inviting you to.

Anyway!

"Much to their sorrow, normally, once I find them," Anakin said with a little grin.

[HIT POST COMMENT, SELF. GOD.]

"Someone's gotta stick their necks out for the rookies," Reno noted, smirking. "Shit, gettin' stuck in that wasteland last year was damn near a field trip, until things got messy at the end..."

Reno had thought that the Capital Wasteland had been kind of homey.

Reno had issues.

"Ben shut like a sarlaac when I asked about it," Anakin said.

Reno considered that one for a moment.

"I don't know exactly what he saw, all the time in there," he offered. "That last leg of the journey came up with some pretty... rough shit to throw at everyone. But I ain't above talkin' about the rough stuff, if family's worried or somethin' and wants at least the skeleton of an explanation, yo."

But the wastelands themselves? Reno got to beat shit up. It had been awesome.

"A skeleton would be good," Anakin admitted. "Getting Ben to talk when he doesn't want to is an effort in futility."

Reno nodded, mulling about for a moment on where to start. Might as well pick up with the parts he knew.

"Most of it wasn't so bad," he offered, because that was a nice starting point. "The wastelands were messy, but it wasn't some kinda friggin' horror story backdrop until we got to the vaults... like this big friggin' bomb shelter thing that looked like it used to house hundreds... nah, I'd say probably thousands of people, yo."

Even Reno didn't look particularly thrilled, talking about this part. There were things about the Capital Wastelands that rang eerily familiar with Gaia. And for as much as he loved what was outside, the inside was close-to-home in all of the wrong ways.

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