Fandom had made him a doll action figure and a red chicken. It had turned her into a bunny. If they wanted to press charges, they would have been well-within their rights.

"I don't like thinking about my feelings," she whined, flopping back onto the other bed as the tequila started to work its magic. "They're all fluffy and sticky and don't stay where they're supposed to."

"I think the island is trying to make us into better people or something, and I was perfectly happy being bitter and amoral little me, thank you very much."