raspberryturk: (Girly!)
"Yo, boss. Shirt didn't fit right this morning, so I had to undo a few more buttons'n usual, zoto."

Why yes, Reno had decided to come in to work today, in spite of the fact that he could have been in bed, enjoying the fact that he was the hottest lesbian on Gaia for the day. Some opportunities, after all, were not to be missed.

He leaned over Tseng's desk, grinning. A lot. If he leaned any more deeply, he'd fall out.

"Got any jobs for me, boss?"

Reno derived some sort of personal victory out of the fact that it took Tseng a full ten seconds to come up with a reply. A reply which was something of an uncomfortable grunt as the Director slid a few dossiers toward the redhead. Waking up with breasts was no excuse for not getting the job done, after all.

Reno was just fine with that. A negotiation mission, trying to get some hungry locals with guns and materia who were holed up around one of the WRO food banks to surrender?

Today was the day Reno of the Turks would finally get to test to see exactly how far flashing a nice pair of boobs could get him in this world.

[NFB for distance, as usual. Mostly establishy, as I'll be heading out in four hours for the weekend to a land of no phone, no lights, no motorcar, not a single luxury. But open for phone calls if you reallyreally want to and you happen to be around.]
raspberryturk: (WAUGH)
It had been another long, hard night. Tseng seemed to be doing everything in his power to drive Reno to the point of cracking since Elena had taken off for Fandom, and Reno couldn't exactly blame him. This time, it had been a run to the outskirts of the makeshift city, under heavy gunfire, to neutralize a group of citizens who had gotten fed up with the poverty. They'd gone out, found themselves some weapons inside the wreckage of the old ShinRa building, and had taken to going door-to-door, shaking people down and waving said guns in their faces until they handed over all of their food.

Not cool.

In Which Stuff Happens, And Reno Has A Chewy Ear. )

[Open for phone calls or what-have-you.]
raspberryturk: (Facepalmy as he is gonna get)
Yep. Nothing like a night out drinking with the boys to celebrate that whole not-being-dead-or-invaded-by-zombies thing to make Reno feel like he would possibly rather be dead again, if only because it would make the room stop attacking his brain from all angles.

Okay, so the Bacardi 151 shots had been a bad idea, after he'd started with Everclear in the first place. Reno was going to just lay there in bed, half-dead for the rest of the-


Reno barely managed to sit up in time to see the gremlin scurry off, and then he barely had time to groan in dim realization before the venom took over.

The hangover that he had been suffering from had left him completely. Not because he had forgotten about it, but because he had given it a dirty look, and it had run away in fear.

That was just how Chuck Norris worked, bitches.

[Oooh so very establishy.]
raspberryturk: (Weetiny Raspberry!)
It had been a long day, and Reno had gotten permission to beat people up for candy, which meant that Deadpool was the coolest adult ever. But, as really cool days tended to go, there was always a time when wee Renos had to retire to their bedrooms again, in order to pull on their pyjamas and get ready for be-


Maybe not get ready for bed so much. There was a time when wee Renos had to harass the poor ferret, instead.


[Open room post is open!]
raspberryturk: (Timon - Casual)
Timon Berkowitz was, as Timon Berkowitz always had been, a particularly sound sleeper. And really, one had to be, when one's bed was usually atop the backside of a snoring warthog.

The warthog had never minded, of course. Pumbaa had been Timon's bestest best friend for years, and nothing about that was ever going to change. Ever. Heck, judging by the particularly warm squishiness of his favoritest sleeping spot today, the little meerkat found himself waking up with a grin.

"Been packin' on the pounds again, huh, Pumb--" He blinked. This certainly wasn't the jungle. And he certainly wasn't sleeping on Pumbaa's back. "Huh."

Being a meerkat of great courage and loyalty, naturally Timon was terribly concerned for the well-being and safety of his misplaced buddy.

"I wonder what kinda grub they have to eat around this joint!"

... Mostly.

[Open like an open thing! Yes, Reno is Timon the Meerkat, from The Lion King continuity- But with a few tweaks. He's from the Timon and Pumbaa cartoon show, as Quinton Flynn does both Reno's voice and season one's Timon. And people can understand what he says! Hooray, talking meerkat!]
raspberryturk: (Just talkin)
"--And you don't even smell that bad," Reno said, holding his ferret in his arms. He'd been going on like this since he'd woken up and decided to strike up a friendly rapport with his pet. "Kinda like sour somethin'-or-other or kinda gunky feet or somethin'. I've smelled worse, yo. I mean, like, I smelled worse, Mako. You should'a seen the kinda junk we had to wade through as Turks. And, I mean, Midgar. There was a city that stank. I miss Midgar. And here I am talkin' to you like a nut. You know, I shouldn't even have a pet? I only agreed to gettin' you when Rikku dragged me to the pet shop 'cause I crave some kinda companionship that ain't gonna leave me just because they find out I'm some kinda heartless government tool--"

That was about the point where he furrowed his eyebrows and frowned.

"And you don't care. You're some kinda weasel thing. So why am I tellin' you this?"

Mako blinked up at Reno lazily, and then set his chin down on his lap and attempted to sleep. Snoozing was hard when someone kept trying to strike up a conversation with you, after all.

[Open door is open!]
raspberryturk: (Headtilt)
Okay. So, the plan tonight was supposed to be pajamas and movies, or whatever. But Reno didn't have pajamas. So he was going to settle for one of his rude t-shirts. But he had no idea where they went. Probably the same place as his jacket, two pairs of his pants, all of his white dress-shirts, and every single sock that didn't have holes in it.

So Reno was knocking at Rikku's door tonight in one of his blue dress-shirts. The one with the pinstripes that he'd bought from Romeo at Pixie Dust back when there had actually been a Pixie. Socks, he didn't need. Socks were stupid, anyhow.

He came bearing potato chips! Knock knock!

[For the girl who lives here!]
raspberryturk: (Mako - Kid WHOA)
It was morning! Almost morning! Kinda morning! The glowy letters on the clock-thingie were looking kinda like they usually did when Mako always woke up to scratch around his cage and Reno was in bed and he had to get up soon anyhow because it was Reno-wake-up time and Mako wasn't in his cage today, he was on the floor! In clothing things! And he was biiiiiiiiig.

Which, really, could only mean one thing.

Today was the day that Mako was going to steal the bed and put it over there in his corner under his cage!!

With a somewhat uncoordinated happy sort of bounce which wound up with him falling on his behind with a loud thud because bouncing on two legs was harder than bouncing on four legs but that was okay because he was just fine anyhow!!!-- Mako started to tug on the end of the spare bed with his hands. Which, he decided, was soooo much cooler than pulling on things with his mouth, and he was going to totally keep these hands if he was allowed.

Over there, across the room, Reno was being all sleeeepy and cranky and he soooo wasn't a morning person. Which was sad, because if he was, Mako was gonna want to play, and it was eating time anyhow, and shouldn't Reno be awake to feed him soon? He should! So Mako was going to try to honk but it came out as a giggle-thing and he would bounce and trip over his own feet and giggle-honk some more until Reno opened his eyes and sat up and--

"Who the shit are you, zoto?!"


[Post is open for interaction, if you're up before anyone in the universe should have any right to be IC, and if you don't mind crazy slowplay OOC!]
raspberryturk: (Default)
Reno was of legal voting age, sure, but was not American. Heck, he wasn't even from this planet. And anyhow, it wasn't like he'd know what to do with a ballot if it hit him in the face. Mayoral elections in Midgar had been a joke, because all the strings had been pulled by the guy on top anyhow. So he'd largely ignored politics back home in favor of doing his job and beating things up. That had always been more interesting anyhow.

That was why, instead of being too concerned about the election going on outside today, Reno was making himself comfortable in his room, pitting his ferret against both the wee elephant that had wandered in, and the donkey.

Kind of like a cockfight, but with more honking.

The ferret seemed to be winning.

[The door's open, and I'll be around all day.]
raspberryturk: (Facepalmy as he is gonna get)
Reno cracked open one eye.

And then he cracked open the other.

And then he shot into a sitting position with a bit of a yelp, looking around his room in a cold sweat.

... Oh. Okay. Okay, he wasn't dead, and he wasn't locked in a closet while not dead, after all, and he was pretty certain that he was sane again. Or as close as he ever got to it. No evil twins? No vast fortune? He was still just a dirty paid killer from the slums? He'd just slept in?

Okay. Good. Reno shook his head to himself, swore up and down that someday he was gonna find the island's balls so that he could kick them in, and then he got out of bed to feed his ferret. His nice, normal, possibly slightly retarded mutt of a ferret, who had perfectly normal toes and a tendency to honk at anything that moved.

"Fandom is way too friggin' weird," he mumbled to himself.

Mako Dumbass the First agreed with a hearty sort of honk while he gnawed on Reno's fingers.

[Open if anyone wants to say hi. I just felt like being all posty.]
raspberryturk: (Facepalmy as he is gonna get)
Still in his brother's room, still attempting to make heads-or-tails of the purple prose mess that was his twin brother's diary, Rone was starting to suspect that Reno was not just a romantic, he was a stupid one.

It was really just a hunch, anyhow.

Something about the way he'd gone on about the love of his life, dumbapple of his eye, his little cusadrehk (what the hell was a cusadrehk?), had just given Rone the notion, really.

"Oh, come on," Rone grumbled, flipping past another page of poetry that Reno had written but never had the heart to give to his lady love, "just get to the part about where the money's at."

This was going to be a while, wasn't it?

[Open! Some more. Still open! Open-ish! With someone in mind~]
raspberryturk: (Smirk)
Rone, the twin of the ill-fated and rather dim, rather wealthy, and stunningly attractive Reno, had spent Saturday in his newly acquired room, rifling through all of his ill-gotten gains. The body of his late brother had been tied up (simply because one could never be too careful) and locked in the closet, where Rone wouldn't have to lay eyes on it until he could find the opportunity to properly dispose of the very clearly, certainly, obviously, and indisputably dead thing.

He didn't mind losing the closet space, really. His twin brother kept very little in his enormous walk-in closet, aside from a few Armani suits and the food for Reno's rarest-of-the-rare prized pedigree Amazon black-footed angora siamese polydactyl scentless albino vegan afghan show-ferret, of course. And Rone had little interest in such trivial things.

No, no, Rone's attention had been on far more important fare. Reno's diary, left on the nightstand with the key conveniently set beside it for purposes of quickening along the scene, had proven to be interesting reading last night. He had learned a great deal about the family that he had never known and about the life that he was now going to assume for his own.

His foolish brother's diary had become his bible, and a red sharpie marker had taken care of the little matter of mimicking the two red birthmarks on his brother's cheeks, which were the only features that, at a glance or a glimpse or even a good, long look, set the two of them apart.

Armed with Reno's entire life story scrawled in flowery calligraphy in a little black book, Rone's plot to have his revenge and to take the family fortune for himself was finally underway. Reno's wallet was in his pocket, and he'd painstakingly perfected the art of forging his twin brother's signature overnight. All that remained now was the process of insinuating himself into every aspect of the life that his brother had once known.

Just as soon as he'd had himself a nice, long, melodramatic laugh, naturally.

[Door is closed, but the post is open, if you'd like to pop in. I'm headed to bed right away, but I'll be around to catch pings in the morning!]
raspberryturk: (Smirk)
Reno did not want to get out of bed today.

This was odd, for Reno. The mornings were normally a source of excitement for him, a time to reflect upon the beautiful happenings of the day before, and to anticipate the day ahead of him with the sort of optimistic joy seen only in the very rich, and the very stupid.

Reno was, of course, both.

He was also loyal to a fault, and he had a habit of handing out money to any local charity that he heard of, as there was money to give, and no reason for Reno to keep his hands on it all.

But today? Today, Reno did not want to get out of bed. In spite of the dance last night, spent with the most wonderful woman who had ever entered his life, today seemed to have a sense of foreboding to it. Ill-will, hanging in the air, which cut him clean through to the bone.

It wasn't until he opened his eyes that he realized, it wasn't simply a sense of dread.


It was his twin brother, looming over him, a cruel smirk on his lips and a gun leveled toward him. He hadn't seen him in years. They'd been separated at birth, actually, and Reno had never had the chance to get to know him through his long and prosperous life. His mother had spoken of him, fondly. The baby boy that the hospital had misplaced, sent, no doubt, to live a life under the plate. Reno liked to dream that perhaps this other him had found some shred of goodness in the world as well, in spite of his family and fortune being lost so young.

Instead, it seemed, Reno's twin had found Reno.

All the focus in the room seemed to shift to that gun for an agonizingly long moment.

"Goodbye, brother."

And then the scene cut to black.

[HOORAY SOW. This is just establishy, naturally, as Reno's evil twin probably doesn't want to be interrupted while he's hiding the body.]
raspberryturk: (Shirtless omgomgomg)
Once again, Reno woke up.

Yesterday had possibly been the best day of his life.

Reno had a scale for things like this. It had little numbers that he'd tack on to awesome moments. Knowing that his home world wasn't going to be crushed under a giant rock, for example, had earned a nine out of ten. Winning a battle with a monster on the field had usually scored about a five or a six.

But yesterday, he had been a hot lesbian. And he had done the sorts of things that hot lesbians did. And that had earned a score of over nine-thousand.

This morning, he was going to just wake up, and snuggle closer to Rikku, and grin. He was laying down on his hair, which made the rolling over awkward, sure, and for a moment he was uncertain as to if he'd changed back or not.

A quick excursion with his hand assured him that he was, in fact, male again, and the Fandom Weirdness had just decided to be kind and leave him a souvenir of his time spent as a girl. (Aside from the photos. And the videos. And the sweet, sweet memories.)

Yes. That was a squee as Reno hugged his own ponytail. Shut up. He'd missed it.

[For the girl, who was totally modded with permission woo!]
raspberryturk: (D:)
"No. No no no no no no no no NO."

Reno had all of his pants laid out on his bed.

Reno's pants were not pants today. They were... hideous. Hideous something.

Reno was not amused.

"If this has anything to do with the destiny that Dawn gave to Romeo on Monday, I'm gonna..."

Reno made a point of wearing his 'I Piss Excellence' t-shirt instead of the usual suit jacket, and then a relatively tame pair of boxer shorts underneath the hideous Bermuda shorts today. Just in-case he felt the urge to CLAW HIS SHORTS OFF IN A FIT at any point during the day to run free in his underpants.

As you do.

[Just making the most of the crack before work. Open, if you don't mind slowplay to a massive, massive degree.]
raspberryturk: (Headtilt)
After a day of wandering lost in the pea soup that was the fog out there (and Reno had thought he'd seen some pretty thick smog back when he was living in Midgar), he'd finally, finally found his way back to his cabin, his alcove, his bed, parked himself on top of it, and dammit, he wasn't going anywhere until he absolutely had to.

In the face of the fog and of ... current events, it was probably a good idea to just stay put for a while.

Stay put, and muse over the fireworks that he'd made in class earlier that day.

Eventually, he'd set them off. He hoped they were as flashy as he'd heard fireworks were supposed to be.

[Open Alcove is Open~]
raspberryturk: (Faceplanted owie)
It had been one hell of a long day.

Which was why, by the time Reno finally managed to find his stupid alcove again, he was about ready to curl up on his bed and stop functioning entirely until tomorrow. Maybe wake up for Radio. Then collapse again. That sounded like a plan.

He picked up his phone, eyed it for a moment, and then typed in a text message.

Yo, Tseng. Still a damn Turk.

He shook his head, closed his phone, and dropped it on the floor, message unsent.

Reno wasn't sleeping tonight.

[Shamelessly linkdroppy. Shamelessly. Curtain closed, post open if you want.]
raspberryturk: (I'd Lick That)
After the fiasco with the television yesterday, Reno had emptied out about half of his liquor stash before going to bed.

Waking up with a hangover and then taking a shower in rum had been unexpected, but he was willing to look at it as a new beginning.

A good start to the day.

Better than being to his knees in fictional sewer water had been.

That was why all of Reno's empties were now filled with showerhead rum. And once he was done having himself another shower in the hair of the dog, he was going to spend a good chunk of the day in his room, loving the heck out of the weirdness of Fandom.

[[Tuesday woo! Shamelessly linkdroppy for one whole link and establishy unless someone wants to pop in to harrass Reno and his rum-water. Me? I'm headed to bed. Mmm, bed.]]
raspberryturk: (Action Figure)
It had been A Day. A week. A whole weekend and Reno, who was still both puny and plastic, was in need of a drink.

He wasn't in a bad enough way that he was going to go to the bar. There were certain things that action figures shouldn't do in public. Sure, he could go to The Perk to give computer lessons and he could scar his friends for life, but the bar? Even if he was hurting for a drink and a smoke and a hell of a lot of escapism, he wasn't going to head to the bar. Besides, he had his own booze. It was simply a matter of getting into it. Easy as pie.

Or, it should have been, except the bottle toppled over as he was attempting to pry the cap off, and it took him with it. The next thing he knew, he was on the floor, face down in spilled scotch, and his body was a good four inches away from his head.

Oh, good. Not only was he an action figure, but he was an action figure with a freaking faulty balljoint for a neck.

This would have been less problematic if his body wasn't more interested in saving the booze than it was in solving the fact that it was slightly decapitated at the moment.

"No, stupid, I'm over here."

It was going to continue being A Day.

[Open! And I swear, he'll be normal again tomorrow. I just had to. My own Reno action figure's head falls off on a regular basis. Pretty, yes. Lots of points of articulation? For sure. But clearly not made to do much looking around, poor thing.]
raspberryturk: (OOC - PONIES)
When Reno woke up on Saturday morning, he noticed four things.

First, that the alcove was very, very large around him.

Second, that he was made of plastic.

Third, that he was still desperate for a smoke, despite the fact that he was an action figure, and the nicotine gum he'd handwavily picked up was now the same size as his face.

And fourth, that there seemed to be a good deal of whinnying going on throughout the campgrounds.

Therefore, Reno made the executive decision to stay in bed.

"I hate this freakin' island," he mumbled as he crawled under his pillow.

[I couldn't resist, if only for the chance to use this OOC icon of mine IC. Reno's an action figure, and probably will be for a couple of days, but if you want to harass him now, bear in mind that I work tonight, and we're looking at crazy slowplay for the day.]


raspberryturk: (Default)
Reno of the Turks




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